


The Next Nothing

by nishiki



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Loki has a Child, Lokipreg, M/M, MPreg (mentioned), Post-Avengers (2012), and guess who the daddy is, mentions of previous pregnancies, not yet rated, probably mentions of rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-04
Updated: 2016-10-25
Packaged: 2018-07-12 06:15:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 39,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7088647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nishiki/pseuds/nishiki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Loki has caused mayhem all over New York, Thor brought back his little brother to Asgard to have him dace his trial, unfortunately Loki had a long list of enemies and there are those who don't like waiting for too long. If Loki would have known what killing Laufey would cause between the surviving Jotun, maybe he would have never even contemplated killing his own father in cold blood. Now, after a year of imprisonment, all Loki can think of is the safety of his most precious good and for that he is even willing to die. Perhaps.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I do not have the slightest idea how long this will become. I really don't.

The only thing he could think about, the only thing he was able to focus on, was the baby. This was everything that was of matter right in that moment, even if the world would start to crumble and fall apart right in that instant. And if it meant he would die while trying to get this little pink plump thing away from this place, then he would gladly accept it that way. This child, _his_ child would never suffer in these ancient halls as he had, he would take care that this precious baby would not share his fate, even if it meant the child would never learn of his name. As long as there was still a beating heart inside his chest, may it be tainted, crumbling and black like a dry plum or not, he would not allow that his child would grow up in this nightmare or that the last thing it would see were those hellish monsters looming over its crib.

It was borderline insane what he was trying to do, but then again, insanity was the crime he was often accused of already as it was, so why not going through with it and showing everyone how bat shit crazy he really was? It was not as if he had anything to lose anyway, right? There was nothing they could take from him anymore. He had nothing left. His dignity was gone, his pride broken, his body crushed. He was of no use for no one, not even for himself. But for his child, yes, for his child he still could be useful. For the last weeks he had waited, he had watched and he had planned until finally, tonight, the night of the great feast, the time seemed to be right for him. To him, it was almost an enigma how he had managed to escape his cell, almost. _Always have trust in the weakness of men, as it comes to the desires of the flesh_ , his mother had once told him, warned him even when he was still a child but slowly growing into a man. Maybe she had known from the start what was waiting ahead of her younger son, maybe she had always just wanted to protect him from this grim fate.

Sadly, though, Loki had never learned apparently. He found himself in the same situation over and over and over again as it seemed. _It seems as if it is my fate to love, only to be ripped off everything I care for, again and again_ , he briefly thought as he silently crept through the halls on naked, bloody feet. He wanted to complain about the coldness of the stones beneath his feet or the cold air around him, but truth was, he hardly even registered it. He had not much time and he barely knew the place he was kept in. He knew however where his child was being held because they showed him to taunt him, to let him hope he could hold his own child only to drag him back to his cell again not knowing what they were about to do with his baby. However, Loki knew what would happen with his child, if he would not act tonight if he would not act _now_. Loki had barely the strength left to keep himself upright anymore. He was hurting; his legs were thin, frail and weak, his knees not able to support his weight properly after having been broken again and again countless times in those hundred years he spent in this place. Or had it been only one? Here, in this broken and twisted realm, time seemed to stand still. He needed to clutch the walls as he was continuing his way, dipping into shadowed corners, slipping into narrow nooks, when he heard footsteps or voices. If he would get caught … Well, he would not die. Death was too merciful for him, as it seemed.

It was not new to him to be hated. He had been hated all his life, he had thought to be a monster all his life but only understand so late - which consequently lead to the point where he was now sadly. His existence seemed to be a cruel joke and everyone except himself seemed to find joy in it. Everyone except him seemed to have known right from the start while little Loki full of hope and dreams had just wanted to live his life and be happy, not knowing about the cruel things that were being said about him behind his back. To the people of Asgard he had always been an outcast, he had always been the trickster, the mischievous little devil no one could trust before he even started to become exactly what they had all seen in him all along. Briefly, he wondered if they had seen something he could not have seen back then, or if he became this way because they said all those things about him and thought they must be true then. Maybe it had been them creating the monster and not him. It seemed there were only two people in all of the nine realms that had always believed him.

Once he had held his mind in a state that could almost be called stable, in reminding himself again and again on the fact that he was a prince, the heir to the throne of Jotunheim even, son of Odin, son of Bor, brother of the crown prince of Asgard and soon to be king Thor. Now he knew that those things really did not matter. Especially now. He had killed his own father to whom he had no connection but the blood they shared and the sad knowledge that his own father had wanted him to freeze or starve to death on a cold rock outside a temple just hours after he had been born solely for the fact that he had been too small, too weak in the eyes of this monster. He had not felt regret for this act in a long time, now he did, because in killing Laufey, he had killed his own hopes of coming out of this situation unharmed. He would not go down without a fight and if it meant he needed to sacrifice everything he loved and cared for, so be it.

He ducked behind a statue as he saw the shadow of a guard walking away from the room he wanted into and for a brief horrifying moment he thought the man was holding a bundle in his arms, but he did not. Perhaps, perhaps one time in his life he was able to be on time, able to achieve something good, even though all his strength was about to leave him. As the guard was out of earshot, he slowly walked on, holding his breath and walking on tiptoes so no one would know he was there. Never in his life had he wished for his magic more than now. But he had none. He was all by himself. Alone, hurt, bound to fail and yet he managed to creep through the large doors that were laced with ice. The cradle sat right underneath one of the large windows and there, lying in the crib that was monstrous in comparison to the kid inside, laid his son, the first to live longer than a few hours, but ripped from his arms nonetheless.

Loki hurried to the crib without thinking twice. He had not much time until the dead guard would be found in his cell and even though the guards were big; they were not entirely dumb and knew where he would run to because there was only one place for him to run to. He grabbed the child from its cot, still wrapped in the same dark green blanket Loki had last seen him in and pressed him to his chest.

He wanted to talk to the child but couldn’t and maybe that hurt the most as the large green eyes shot up to his face, looking at him in awe and something Loki liked to name recognition. He could only pray the child would not start crying, that he would be silent and clever enough already to not draw attention towards them. He wanted to comfort him, to tell him that everything would be just fine, but he was not allowed to.

As he turned back around to the door he froze in panic as he heard voices and footsteps thundering his way already. The cells were not far away, it had been only a matter of minutes until someone was bound to stumble upon the guard lying dead in Loki's cell in a pool of his own blood. There was no way out except death and he knew this. There was no chance of him getting towards the portal safely now and send his child through it, hoping someone inside the palace in Asgard would then find him quick enough so that he may live without ever learning about his parents. Maybe, he thought, maybe the blanket would give away who he was. For a moment he was afraid what might happen to his child if he would not live to protect him in Asgard, but no matter how big his resentment towards Odin had grown in the past, he had once picked up the baby son of his enemy to raise him as his own out of mercy and maybe even love. He _knew_ Odin would do so again. He _knew_ Odin would take his son and raise him as his and if he would decide against it, Thor would. Oh, heavens! What irony! What cruel twist of fate!

His eyes fell upon the open window again and he did not think twice as he climbed atop the windowsill. Underneath him was a thick blanket of snow and ice as far as the eye could see, glistening in the moonlight. Not even he could probably survive such a drop injured as he was already, but his son could if he would cushion his fall with his own body. His own body was broken anyway. Why should he try and act as if he could be saved as if he would be worth saving anyway? Heimdall, he was everything he could now count on. Heimdall saw everything and surely he saw Loki and the child now, clutching to the window frame with one hand. Heimdall was not supposed to help him in any way, but the child… He was innocent. He was royalty. He would save the child when Loki was dead.

Loki was not a noble man. He was no one who would gladly give his life for someone else. No, that had always been Thor's thing. He was the egoistic one. He was the narcissistic one. Maybe he even was the evil one. But for his child, well … He had had his chance in life and he had ruined everything out of jealousy. Green was the color that suited him best and that not without reason. Maybe once in his life, he could at least try to be noble. He shot a panicked look over the shoulder as he heard a yell right by the door and saw into the horrible grimace of one of the Jotun guards stomping towards him on tree trunk like legs before he jumped and curled his body around his child in a pity attempt of shielding it.


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey there sunshine, you seem to be in a good mood today." Tony chirped from the fridge as he saw one of his more royal guests approach. It was still very early in the day (almost unusually early for him to be awake honestly) and the only other person around was Steve taking one of his rather crisp showers. Thor was a frequent guest to the Avengers' tower although his home was not so very nearby. If he would not know any better, he would assume Thor was getting sick and tired of his pa's bullshit and that this was the reason why he liked to be on Midgard so much as of late, although he always seemed a bit troubled. Of course, the infamous Jane Foster might be one of those reasons too, but the young demi god's feeling for her seemed to have calmed down a lot - almost frozen one might say.

"Good Morning, friend Stark." Thor replied as he greeted his host with a friendly smile and courteous nod in his direction, but even though he tried his best to act his usual charming self, it did not work on Tony this morning – not that it would have ever worked on him anyway. Still, Tony was not a blind or dumb man and his teammates meant much to him, even though he might not always show them or tell them. Hell, one could think letting them live in his tower would be enough proof in that regard! Thor was still wearing his Asgardian clothes, although he refrained from coming into the tower in full armor apparently. Fucking handsome asshole, looking good in his loose tunic like a Greek god.

"Is something wrong at Asgard? Do you need help?" The Captain ever so helpfully offered when he walked in from the bathroom, already dressed in his jeans and a plain white shirt, a towel hanging loosely around his shoulders. Good old Cap was always the first to rise in the morning. But Thor shook his head in dismissal, setting down Mjolnir on the breakfast bar in the kitchen and sitting down on one of the barstools.

"It's your infamous brother, isn't it?" Tony offered, grabbing a few more items from the fridge. He, of course, would not cook, that was most certainly Cap's business.

"Loki is gone for almost a year now, ripped from our home by those beasts and no one knows where he is. Not even Heimdall. I went back home in search for him, I practically begged my father to help in the search of him, but he did nothing. He is so stubborn … Loki clearly got that from him." Thor then almost erupted and the way he clenched his fist made it clear that he wanted to slam it down onto the table inevitably breaking it in the process. Of course, they had already learned about Loki's disappearance shortly after his arrival back in Asgard. S.H.I.E.L.D. was alerted, to say the least, because since no one knew where the trickster was, no one knew what he might do or plan. "I don’t understand why he doesn’t care! He raised Loki to be his son too and I know he loved Loki just as much as me, yet he acts as if he don’t care and denies me my right of searching for him."

"What if Loki is planning something again?" Cap murmured as he walked around the breakfast bar and grabbed the ingredients Tony took from the fridge to make scrambled eggs. Captain's eggs were the best. Of course, Steve only said what every single one of them was thinking and Thor knew this just as well as Tony himself.

"No." Thor hummed ruffling through his golden mane. "No, he is not. I'm sure he is not. I'm worried, my friends. I know Loki is a criminal, I know he has done horrible things to this world and his betrayal weighs heavily on me, but he still is my brother." And he was so much more, but that he left unsaid although everyone knew. Tony did not judge. He would never make the mistake of arguing with a Norse god about whom he took to bed and why. Well, the why he could understand, Loki was a pretty sight to behold, so at least Thor had good taste in his mates. "I fear that enemies greater than he deemed us to be, took him. I'm afraid for what they might do to him."

"Well, the list of people wanting to see him suffer is long I would assume." Tony mused and leaned against the fridge with his back. Talking with Thor about his beloved baby brother was always a dangerous thing, for no one knew how the god might react to the critique of his brother. "Your worries are clearly not unfounded."

"What shall I do, my friends?"

"I guess there is really nothing much you can do, sunshine. If no one knows where he is, then no one knows and you cannot find him. He will turn up eventually. He always does, doesn’t he?" Loki coming back from the dead seemed to have established as a trend already after all that Tony ever learned about the god of mischief.

"But in what state, man of iron? In what state? I don’t wish to have him buried the next time I see him. I don’t wish that the next time I see my brother it is in a boat with a veil over his face." Well, that was indeed a good question, Tony assumed, judging by the way Loki behaved under the influence of the Chitauri forcing him to commit those crimes here on earth. Of course it had been Loki's intention to rule, but in the end, it had become pretty clear that he was acting out of desperation because to fail would mean to die either by the hands of the Chitauri or his own father.

Thor's heart was aching by the mere thought of his brother needing to suffer and everyone could see that. Until now Thor had never spoken openly about his true relationship with his little brother and how conflicted he felt because of its complicated nature, but that too everyone knew. Thor's face was like an open book. He was not good in keeping secrets and the love he felt for Loki was so powerful it seeped from his every pore like sweat. It did not really help that he liked to tell his new friends story after story about his baby brother when everything had been good between them still – and well, really, in those stories Loki sounded like a fun guy to be around, really. Nothing compared to the insane god they met over a year ago.

There was a rumble coming from the skies when Cap was just about to place the eggs in front of the god and Tony shot a glare at the blond Asgardian. "That was not me." Thor immediately responded, raising his hands in defense and looked towards the big windows of the tower overseeing the city and the wide platform where Tony liked to land to get rid of his suit automatically. There was no sign of a thunderstorm. The sky was clear and blue and … there was a shadow on the platform outside. Thor rose from his chair slowly and so did the inventor next to him.

"Did you expect someone?" Tony asked, but both Thor and Steve shook their heads immediately. The others were not home either. Tony could already sense how his two chiseled blonde friends were going into alert, Tony on the other hand though cautious felt a bit calmer and curious about his new guest. It was only the three of them and the figure outside, standing tall and then _crumbling_ to the ground like a castle of sand in a storm. "Who the hell is this?"

But neither Thor nor Steve really bothered looking at Tony or trying to answer that question, instead, driven by their curiosity they left the room and marched onto the platform, leaving behind a perfectly good breakfast. With a few feet apart from the person on the platform, it was hard to really see any details, but the closer they got the more they were able to make out. The person was laying on their side on the ground, their skin frozen blue and a long mane of black hair draped over their face and pooling around their body like a dark cloud. When Thor suddenly started running towards the person Tony paused for a second and just watched as the god reached the person and crouched down next to them. "It's Loki…" Steve whispered, but his voice was barely even audible.

※※※※※

A part of him would have never expected that he would ever see Loki again after he had been taken by those monsters. The day was still fresh in his mind as if it had happened just yesterday. When he had brought Loki back to Asgard everything had seemed normal, everything had seemed just fine except for the dirty looks his brother had shot him and the aching pain in his own chest knowing that his brother would meet justice under his father's rule finally. Thor had not really minded his angry looks, most of it was show anyway and most of it only because of the gag that had hindered his brother from speaking. He himself had just been glad that his brother was still with him, that he still had a chance of redemption.

It never came to this. The monsters had attacked Asgard without anyone foreseeing it and as they had grabbed Loki and ripped him from Thor's arms, there had been nothing he could have done. Loki had fought desperately and his screams and yells would never leave Thor in peace, that he knew for certain. He had tried his best to stop those creatures and he had succeeded in killing a handful of them. Night after night he saw the demon like creatures drop into the great hall of the palace, night after night he saw Loki fighting for his life, desperate to get away from them, saw Mjolnir racing after them and coming back without having hit her target. No matter what his friends, the warriors three might say, this had not been one of Loki's tricks.

And now he was here, right in front of him, lying at his feet like a crushed doll. His skin was of a light blue color, as Thor crouched down and although he first feared his body had been frozen to death, he quickly noticed the markings on his skin that came with his heritage. He was naked except for a small loincloth wrapped around his narrow hips. His body was thinner than he recalled, he looked… _smaller_. Incredibly small and frail. He looked like a small child again, like his baby brother whom he needed to protect. His body was layered in nasty bruises, his back as far as he could see torn by angry cuts. His whole body just did not look right to him. He did not look like his Loki, not like the brother he knew, the lover whose body he had explored countless times. He could see the spots where his bones were broken under his skin and could not recall having ever seen something like this. His hair was longer than before; so long it would reach his hips like a cloak when it would fall down his back. The once soft and silky strands were tousled and tangled and dirty.

As he carefully reached for him Loki's ice cold skin almost burned Thor's fingertips, but under his touch, the skin turned pink for a short moment. His body had no strength left to keep the glamor upright and his skin pink longer than it needed to be, and as Thor carefully withdraw his hand, desperately looking for signs of life, he heard a small noise coming from the raven-haired god beside him. At first, he thought it was Loki producing the sound, then it came again, a small faint gurgle and as he brushed away carefully Loki's long hair from his face and turned him so he could see him better he found himself gasping for breath in horror.

His friends were already approaching, but Thor had no eyes for them, only for the baby in the arms of his brother and for the stitches sewing his mouth shut and withholding him from talking. Loki was unconscious, but at least he was still breathing even if it was only shallow and weak. He was dying, the child in his arms although was alive. A plump little pink creature with poisonous green eyes and a patch of blonde curls on its little head.

※※※※※

"So… whose kid is it?" Thor shot him a small glance as Tony bent down to have a look at the bundle in his arms. He could not do much - not as much as he liked to. The only thing he could do was to hold onto this baby and try to keep him as safe as he could.

"I don’t know." Thor replied after a while and looked down on the sleeping kid. It was still bundled up in the bright green blanket in which it arrived. He remembered the day he first saw Loki, even though he had been only four years old at the time. Loki too had been bundled up in a blanket such as this one. He knew that his mother still had the blanket in her possession and that Loki had slept with it until he had grown too big for it. "It's Loki's child, more I need not know." Even though a tiny voice inside of his mind screamed in anger that Loki had a child that was not his, but right now those thoughts were unnecessary and dumb.

He had never held a child before and yet it came naturally to him. Having the baby close to his heart made him feel a bit calmer in this moment, while he was not able to help his brother. He trusted those Midgardian doctors from Shield, but Loki was no human and all Thor really wanted to do was to bring him home to their mother so she could help him as she always had. He still remembered how frail his brother had been as a child and that he would often find Loki with their mother, his head on her lap while she had gently caressed his hair to soothe him.

"How do you know it's his kid? He could have stolen it. I mean, he did not look as if he had a jolly good time this past year, how should he have sired a child? And if so, who's the mother?" Tony continued and only briefly Thor noticed the sharp glance Steve shot at the inventor, who did not seem to mind at all, probably because he was already so used to it.

"I believe Loki is its mother." Thor answered resting his eyes back down on the kid again as if this thought was the most normal to have, but, well, growing up with Loki, it was. "I feel like this is the truth. He will explain everything to us, as soon as he comes back to health." _But what if he won't_?, he briefly wondered. What if he won't?

Like always it was the good Captain who read his thoughts and spoke his mind as carefully as he possibly could while placing a comforting hand on his left shoulder. "And what if he dies?" He asked. "What happens then to the child?"

"I will raise it as if it was my own of course. And I will tell it about Loki as often as I will be able to. It shall miss naught. It's born to a prince of Asgard after all, it shall have everything it wants." Tony sighed but patted his other shoulder.

"You, friend, will spoil this kid even more rotten than your little brother." He smirked and Thor frowned.

"Loki was never _spoiled_." He announced and the looks he got from his two teammates were almost enough to make him blush and reconsider everything he had once told them.

"He was, you said it yourself once. And mostly he was spoiled by you." Steve remarked as he finally sat down onto one of the chairs. Staring through that glass wall did not help anyone, especially not Loki.

"Is it considered to be so wrong to spoil those you love the most on Midgard?" Thor mumbled to himself. "The moment I first saw Loki the only thing I wished for was to see him happy, to see him thrive. I never wished to cast dark thoughts into his mind. I never wished to see him suffering, to see him cry, to see him hurting. When my little presents managed to make him smile I was the happiest big brother in all of Asgard."

"Let's face it, Pikachu, Loki is a spoiled princess and you Sir are at fault for this." He would not argue with it, instead, he quieted down a little and watched the clock on the wall overhead ticking away the time, until Steve spoke up again and surprised both of his teammates.

"Did you ever consider marrying him, after you two started… Dating?" Thor would have laughed under different circumstances and Tony just made a face. "Dating, Steve? Really?"

"I wanted to ask the Allfather for his allowance after I would have brought Loki home again. The last years were quite chaotic in that regard. I don’t know if he already knew that Loki and I were lovers more than we were brothers and I don't know if he will ever allow me to make him mine entirely. I think our mother knows." For a second he was silent, deeply in thought, but then he laughed. "I think she always knew, even before we knew. She always teased me, always warned me to keep a closer eye on Loki because he had always been so pretty. Even when he was still a kid he already had a whole legion of admirers always lurking nearby." He had not always been able to protect his brother though and when they had been children he had not even understood. Now he thought that it was only natural that he had fallen in love with his little brother, that he felt drawn towards him from the start and as soon as he learned that Loki was adopted, the boundaries shattered and Thor had let go of the fears that previously had held him tight. Suddenly no one but Loki had been important to him anymore.

Until now he had never talked that openly with his friends about his relationship to Loki. It was odd, how normal it felt to discuss this topic all of the sudden. He knew that the customs here on Midgard, on Earth, were quite different in those regards and of course somehow he never felt the need to discuss such things with his friends. There had been more important matters most of the time anyway. Talking with his fellow teammates about such profanities now was a relief, though. It helped him to not concentrate on the fact that Loki's life was in serious danger. There was only a wall dividing him from his brother since he had been stolen from his side by those monsters and still he was not allowed to be at his side, to hold his hand at least. He was forced to leave him all alone with those strangers and could do nothing to help him.

The one feeling Thor hated the most was helplessness and now in that moment, this was exactly what he felt. He felt utterly helpless because he _was_ utterly helpless. He could not do anything except holding that baby in his arms and thinking that he had never thought it would feel so good holding such a small creature in his arms. He remembered the first time he had been allowed to hold Loki. He remembered how his mother told him with a stern face that he should sit down on her chaise au lounge and watch little Loki's head before she placed him in Thor's chubby arms. Maybe he had fallen in love with him right then when those big emerald green eyes looked at him in awe. The baby had Loki's eyes, he had seen this when Loki and he arrived.

"What do you think happened to him?" Steve finally breathed. Although none of the Avengers were very fond of his little brother the Captain seemed worried for Loki at least – or maybe his worries were more for Thor's wellbeing in case something would happen to Loki. Maybe it was because of the friendship that had evolved between them as a team. It was Stark who answered before Thor could.

"He was tortured, Stevie, isn't that obvious? I am all for justice and shit, but let me tell you: I hate it when people start torturing people because of _justice_."

"No… This was not justice, Tony." Thor sighed after a moment. "This was hate. This was betrayal, this was showing him his place for the things he has done. Those bracelets he is wearing he got from us, they strip him from his magic. If I would have known…" He would not have taken the only thing from him that would help defend Loki from his enemies. He did not want to imagine the horrors he had endured. It had been a year for him, but how long for Loki? Time did not always work in the same ways on different worlds. Had it been a few months? A year? Ten years? He would not know until Loki came back to him and as soon as he would … Thor would never let him go again for sure. He did not care what his father would say about all of this. He did not care if his father might already know about the situation or if it was his duty to inform him some way or another. He did not care if the people of Midgard or Asgard would demand Loki's imprisonment once again, for all he cared they could come and fight him, he would not give him into the hands of jailers ever again.

※※※※※

He fell, but he could not see the ground anymore. His fall seemed endless and Loki did not even recall when his descent had started. Was this the afterlife? Was the afterlife a metaphor for his life that had started to spin completely out of control at one point? And if so, was it now his duty to find out when all of this had started? Was it not his duty to find out when he had left the right path and slowly started to descent into madness? Was it the moment when he first noticed how differently Odin liked to treat him and Thor after he had heard Sif whispering this to a friend of hers in the courtyard? Was it the moment Odin had first scolded him for losing against another fighter during his training? Was it the moment he started to notice the disappointed looks Odin gave him when Loki started his lessons in magic? He did not even know if his life spiraling out of control had anything to do with Odin really, even though he had always liked to blame his father and the mistreatment he had suffered by the hand of Odin. Maybe it had been him all along, born to become a monster, born to be driven insane by his own jealousy and weakness.

Jealousy, yes, this was probably his greatest weakness and he had had many reasons to be jealous in his life. His jealousy had mostly been concentrated on his stupid oaf of a big brother and the things Thor had and he did not and would never have. Thor had had everything, friends, love, the crown soon to be placed upon his head. Thor had always been the golden son, the proud golden prince of Asgard who was loved by everyone without doing much to earn this love, while Loki had always been cast aside to stand in Thor's shadow to become nothing more than a shadow, trying desperately to gain the same kind of love his brother had, but his good deeds had always been mistaken for cruelty and mock. Every time he did something good, the people looked at him in suspicion. When he gave a homeless man something to eat, the man would not eat in fear of the food being poisoned by the trickster.

He had never wanted the throne, that much was true. He had only wanted to be Thor's equal, to be _seen_ and heard by Odin and his brother, not only by his mother Frigga. Gladly he would have taken the role of an advisor to his brother as soon as he would have been crowned king by their father finally, but his jealousy had planted little venomous voices inside his mind instead. He had hated every woman Thor would lie with and thought it was because no woman had ever looked at him the way they were looking at his brother and Thor's friends had only laughed at him, telling him he was too feminine himself to be considered a mate to those women. It was only decades later that he understood that the women did not mean a thing to him and that it was Thor who was the cause of his jealousy because Thor would not see him. Thor would never choose him over any of those tavern wenches. He had loathed himself for these thoughts. Oh, what a monster must he be, thinking like this of his own brother! He was truly an abomination, truly deprived of any dignity and goodness! And he had started to falter, started to think that all those people may have seen what he truly was all along.

However, it had been Thor throwing himself at him later and Loki had not resisted, maybe not dared to resist because his brother always got what he wanted, only to be crushed again when Thor left him behind again and started acting as if nothing had ever happened between them. When Loki had lost his first child, Odin had looked at him in disgust and shame while he had just been laying there in a bed of blood, trying to survive although he had not known why he even bothered to stay alive. His father surely would not have minded him dying right then and there, the disgrace of the house of Odin, a man who gave birth to a child, a bastard even, such a cruel joke of nature.

Maybe he should have known right then and there that something was not right about him, that he did not belong there, but, naïve as he had been, he had not worked it out - or rather he had not wanted to. He had refused to see his true nature, refused to see reality stretching out in front of him and painting him as the monster parents warned their children of. Thor had told him the stories about the frost giants many times under the disapproving looks of their golden mother, about the monsters under his bed. Maybe he had used those stories to bribe Loki so his little brother would want to sleep in his bed out of fear of the monsters grabbing him when he slept so that he would feel safe - or let Thor feel safer. Loki had never been scared of those monsters under his bed - now he was. Now he knew more than his brother. Now he wanted nothing more than to curl up in Thor's bed and have his strong arms wrapped around him in comfort so that the monsters would not find him again.

Apparently, the afterlife had a thing for annoyingly beeping sounds. He blinked and was still surrounded by thick, heavy darkness, but when he blinked once again there was a blinding bright light forcing him to shut his eyes again. Maybe he reached the end of the famous tunnel now. "Loki" A dull voice sounded from somewhere around his aching head. Odd. It was only now that he noticed how much his head was hurting. His head was not supposed to hurt while dead, so out of curiosity, he tried to open his eyes again, only to notice that the light outside of his eyelids was still burning like wildfire.

"Loki" The voice came again, this time a bit more vibrant and deep, closer for sure and so was the annoying little beep-beep-beep. He needed an eternity to get his eyes used to the brightness outside of the soothing darkness of the afterlife inside his brain, but when he finally managed to, things started to slowly emerge from the light as well, yet his vision seemed too blurred to really see anything.

He felt something heavy on his right hand. A stone maybe? The last thing he knew was that he jumped from the window in the palace into the snow. Maybe his limbs had torn off from his body and were strewn all over the place now. "Loki" Again with that voice! "Are you awake?" There was only one being in the entirety of the universe able to ask such a question in the sight of someone who had their eyes open.

"Thor…" He mumbled - and then it hit him. His left hand shot to his face without thinking. The stitches were gone. He could speak. He could speak for the first time since his imprisonment started and he did not even know how long he had been a prisoner to those monsters.

The pink face of his brother slowly started to take form, leaning over him as close he could without getting into his personal space too much. Apparently, his oaf of a brother had learned not to throw himself at people as much during his little vacation on Jotunheim. For a long moment, Loki just lay in what he thought to be a bed and just stared ahead unflinching when he felt Thor's big hands cupping his face so carefully as if the large man was afraid he would break underneath his touch. "I thought I lost you." Thor breathed so quietly as if he did not want anyone to hear but Loki. "I thought you dead. But here you are and I don’t even know how that is possible."

The fall, Loki thought. He had jumped from the window he escaped through, ready to die if it meant to escape those monsters. Not a day longer he could have survived without shattering and breaking. He had jumped without a second thought, hoping Heimdall would finally help, would finally be able to see and apparently, he had. "Where is he?" Loki then mumbled and tried to sit up, as the panic slowly started to creep up again. "Where is my son?" What if the Giants had stolen him from Loki's arms? What if Heimdall had not managed to transport them both? Suddenly his whole body was agitated. He wanted to shoot up and leave this bed, to go and search for his child, but he could not. He found himself bound to machines … bound to the bed and only now his brain registered that his skin was still blue.

"Shhh" Thor made quietly by his side and placed a hand on his chest to hold him down carefully. "All is well. Your son is well. The Captain takes care of him." The Captain?

"Are we on Midgard?"

"Yes" His brother chuckled quietly. "It seems Heimdall brought you right here after I came back from Asgard. He has his eyes everywhere and wanted you and your boy safe." Again Loki could feel his brother's calloused fingers stroke over his cheek as if he did not mind the blue skin or the marks all over his body telling the tale of who he, Loki Prince of Asgard, really was. Not more than a monster, not more than a stolen relic from another realm for his father to rule upon.

"He has." Loki bitterly replied but held his gaze firmly onto the snow white ceiling. Really, he could not care less where he was. "But only if he sees fit."

"Loki … Heimdall has not been able to see you for a year, brother." Thor calmly explained, hearing the suppressed anger in the younger god's voice, who still found it hard to believe that he was not dreaming still. Perhaps all of this was just a cruel joke and he would wake up in his dingy cell again with a giant leaning over him. "But when he did he brought you back to me immediately. I spent the last year searching for you, just as Heimdall did."

"But no one else." Loki groaned. "No one else cared. If father- if Odin would have cared, he would have found me sooner." Thor fell into silence for a moment and Loki enjoyed his little victory and the moment of quietude before he felt Thor's hand on his long mane.

"I'll go get you your child." He promised as he rose from his chair. "I am sorry for the bindings, I know you won't do anything, but the mortals are scared that you could cause havoc again." Loki did not respond and he did not even tug on his bindings. They were soft. Not just simple ropes binding him to the metal frame of this bed, but soft cuffs to hold him in place. Loki was too tired to really care; the only glimpse of hope was to see his kid again.

He was left alone for a few moments after Thor had left through the door, not daring to look around and yet finally he could bring himself to move his head. The room was not very big and white all over. Other than his bed and the odd machines he was hooked to the only other piece of furniture was the chair his brother had been sitting on a moment ago. A metal door was leading outside the room with just a small window in the door to look through. But a large window right next to the door provided Loki with a look outside onto the hallway. There was no one there, although he half expected to see a bunch of curious scientists waiting. Without Thor at his side, bound to a bed, stripped of all his magic, he felt terribly naked and helpless. Was he with S.H.I.E.L.D. now? The room looked highly secured and he could even spot a small camera over the door. Hell, were they really that afraid of him? If so, he must have done something right, he guessed.

There was no knock on the door as his brother came back to him, but Loki's eyes immediately shot to the small bundle in Thor's arms. He was not wearing his green blanket any longer. Apparently, those Midgardian warriors had dressed his child, maybe even fed and bathed him. Only now Loki found himself wondering how long he had been unconscious leaving his child in the care of strangers. Thor smiled at him, as he sat down on the edge of Loki's bed and finally released him from his cuffs so that he could sit up. "You have been knocked out for a few days, so my friends thought it would be nice to get a few pieces of Midgardian clothing for the little one." Thor then informed him quietly to not wake the sleeping baby in his arms which looked perfectly contempt in the big oaf's arms.

Until the moment Thor placed the boy gently in his arms, Loki had been able to suppress his tears, but when he finally felt the baby nestling against his chest his heart clenched in horror. He had not been allowed to hold him after he gave birth to him in that cold, wet cell with no one there to help him. They had left him alone with the pain and the mess, chained and helpless and only when they heard the babe's first scream they came in and took him away without a care for Loki or the state he had been in. He had given birth before and although every time it had been painful, this time he had been sure that he would die.

His son wore a Captain America onesie and as he noticed this he almost hiccupped because he choked on a sob. His stupid brother wasted no time to crawl next to him and pull him into his arms in an almost bone-crushing hug. Of course, Thor would never dare to ask him whose child this was. His brother was a possessive man, but he was no man without decency. He knew when it was right to ask such questions and when it was not and Loki felt as if his brother had already decided that he did not care. "It's yours" Loki finally huffed and relaxed against his brother, feeling the weight he had carried around with him this last year finally dropping off his shoulders.


	3. Chapter 3

Thor had always known that he wanted a family at one point in his life and yet he had never known how strong this wish, this desire was until he held Loki's child in his arms for the first time. He was still considered young in their culture, and so was Loki, who was in their culture barely even an adult. They were young and they had their whole life still ahead of them and Thor himself had always been distracted by countless wars and hunts and brawls. He had been just a hot headed boy for most of his life and this hot temper always got him into great trouble for as long as he could remember. Maybe his banishment to earth had helped to cool his temper; maybe fighting aside Earth's mightiest heroes had helped ease him into adulthood and into the task that lay ahead of him. Maybe this experience would someday help him to carry the burden of the crown and the role of Allfather. He liked to think he was more benevolent now than he had been before when the only things he had thought and truly cared about were fighting, drinking and fucking.

And yet, even though he thought that he had grown a lot during the past few years, through everything that had happened, he had not considered himself to be ready to be a father just yet. He had always expected to be crowned king at one point not too far in the future, to marry (someone he loved at best) and then to become a father too. He had always expected to either fall in love with a bride his parents might even support or to marry a bride that had been chosen for him out of political interest. He, against his hot temper, had always understood and known that royal marriages were rarely born out of love and that not everyone could have what his parents had. But, he guessed, Loki always did what he wanted. He should have known his little brother would throw his plans overboard and just throw a child at him at one point completely out of the blue. It was not like he had not known that Loki was capable of this. Of course, he had. He had been there, had heard him scream his lungs out in pain when he had been oh so very young still. It had been him, waiting outside the doors, fearing for his little brother's life while their father met Loki's pain only with shame and disappointment written all over his face. And although he had known that having children with Loki was a very real possibility, it had never really crossed his mind that it _would_ happen indeed.

"Well, you see, I get it, big guy. Really. You are the god of fertility and all that, but how do you know Loki tells the truth? This baby of his could be anyone's kid. It does not even need to be Loki's kid." Thor shot a dark look at the man of iron, as he so brutally ripped him from his thoughts while he had been sitting at the window and staring down on the glistening city ready to be swallowed by the night. Thor liked sitting there and watching the city at night. It was almost impossible to see the stars from here, due to the light pollution as Tony had once explained to him, but the city itself looked like the night sky from up here.

He had not heard Tony approaching him after the man of iron fetched himself yet another drink. It seemed, after Thor had told him what Loki had said (although Thor was well aware of the fact that Tony already knew for having checked the recordings from Loki's room), the inventor was in dire need of a drink the whole time. "Wow, don't you look at me like that thunderbird. I just want you to think about it. You know Loki, I know Loki, we all know Loki. He is not called the god of lies, chaos, and mischief without a good reason, isn’t he? I just want you to think about the very real possibility of him lying to you because he knows that you would do anything in your power to protect him and his child as long as you would think it's yours. He has tricked you before, Thor. He will trick you again."

"I would protect him even if it was not my child." Thor boomed crossing his arms as he leaned back in his chair a bit more. It was not as if he was an idiot. He knew people liked to think of him as being a bit short-witted and gullible most of the times (only muscles no brains, he had once heard someone say), but he was surely not entirely stupid. He would not argue with the fact that Loki was maybe more intelligent than him, as well as he would not argue with Tony or Bruce being more intelligent than him. His brother had always found it easy to learn new things and understand foreign concepts in the blink of an eye. He, Thor, son of Odin, surely was a bit more practical than his brother, a bit more shallow-minded, but that certainly did not mean he was an idiot. He was aware that he had been too trusting of his brother in the past, but he liked to think this was only the case because he loved him and _wanted_ to trust him desperately.

He of all people knew Loki the best, or at least that was what he liked to believe. He knew his brother was good at manipulating others, of manipulating _him_ and that Loki had proven over and over again in the past. And yet he trusted his brother in this matter, even though there was a very real possibility of getting stabbed again. Though granted … the dagger had been tiny back then, barely able to hurt him and they both, he and Loki, had known that. Loki had not wanted to hurt him, just to shove him away again like he always did when he did not know what to do. Loki was good with words and with twisting the meaning of something for his own gain. He was good at manipulating and faking emotions, but he had never been good with true emotions.

This sword called _Emotion_ was one Thor knew how to wield better than his brother. Loki, whenever confronted with his own heart and desire to be loved or to love, normally lashed out on those he loved. He tried to flee. Thor rather chased and Loki was a prey he had always liked to chase. Even when they had been children and Loki ran off crying because the other kids had bullied him, Thor had hunted him down to soothe him, only so that little proud Loki could try to beat him up with tiny pale fists until his big brother would lie laughing on the ground beneath him in submission.

"So why do you believe him?" Tony sighed and downed his amber-colored drink. _Whiskey_ , as the mortals called it. "I mean, _hell_ , he was gone for a year. How do you even think it's possible that you are the father of this child? The kid is at best a few days old!"

"Loki is not a mortal, Tony. He is not even an Aesir. You know, that was how I learned the truth about him really, even before he did. He was pregnant before. A few times actually." Thor sighed but refused to let his mind meander back to those dark places of his memory. He did not want to look back at all the pain Loki had suffered.

"The thing with the horse, snake, and wolf?" Tony chimed in with a big, toothy grin on his face as if he just told a joke that Thor did not understand. He disregarded it as one of Tony's usual little jokes that normally eluded his understanding because the mortal thought to know something about them that was utter nonsense in fact. If Steve would be here, he would probably be embarrassed instead of Tony, because at least one person in the room needed to have enough decency to blush.

"The Jotun have longer pregnancies for the most part and Loki's had been relatively short in comparison - if we are going to take his word and note it as fact that he had been pregnant already when we left for Asgard. I once read that a Jotun can be pregnant for around twenty-four months under normal circumstances, but Loki himself had been small when he was born, maybe he himself had been born too early and the children he had born until now too always came early." If they came at all, Thor mused. He did not like that topic really. He did not like remembering Loki in despair and agony, tossing in his bed because his body was searching for an outlet desperately. "He is still very young for an Aesir, but for a Jotun, he might even be still considered a kid." He sighed and shook his head. "But Loki always did what he wanted. In our world, he just entered adulthood and he thinks his body is ready for everything because of this."

"Yeah, but when did you- I mean, even if he might have been pregnant for a year you two would have needed to have fucked while on earth!" Tony exclaimed before he met Thor's eyes once again and sighed, brushing a hand over his face, as Thor did not have the decency to look away or at least lower his eyes to the floor. "Jesus Christ, you guys, _really_? We were fighting against those creatures _plus_ Loki and you two were reconciling? Were you canoodling while the fight was going on or after we went out to have Shawarma?"

"I thought him dead, Man of Iron. I will not apologize for giving in to my emotions as I learned that he was still alive and that there was still hope for us to get back together maybe. During the battle, I saw the real Loki, dear friend."

"He stabbed you!"

"Barely a scratch."

"He threw me out of that very window!" Tony argued gesturing towards the exact window Thor liked to sit at and watch the city. Well, it was a nice spot to be thrown out, he would imagine.

"You can fly and he knows this very well. Loki was aware that it would not do you any real harm."

"But he did not care for the innocent people out in the city that were getting harmed by his ingenious plans for world domination! He is dangerous!"

"He was desperate."

"Oh, for god's sake, Thor! Stop making excuses for your baby brother! He is not _innocent_!"

"I never said he was." Thor sighed. "And I won't apologize for his actions too, but I know my brother, Tony. Yes, he is a liar. Yes, he is a trickster. Yes, he is good at manipulating people, but I have grown up with him. I know when he is being sincere, even in times when he himself does not know. He would never lie about something like this, for he has no need to. My brother is aware that I would have taken this child as my own even if it was not. He knows I would have raised his son as my own even if Loki would have died without telling me who that boy belongs to. The parentage of this innocent little boy has never mattered the slightest to me, Tony. He is Loki's baby and thus he is my flesh and blood no matter what, no matter what others might say about it. So, for those reasons, I am willing to believe him. _Someone_ has to believe him in order for him to not become a threat again, and this _someone_ is me."

"It's always you, Thor and he knows that too. That’s the problem with your brother! He knows how to manipulate you without doing much really. He is aware that you will come to his aid no matter what and that you will believe him no matter what he tells you, now as he is beaten and broken like this. He needs your protection not only from his enemies but from us and perhaps even from Odin himself. He has never received his just punishment from your father after all and knowing him I would assume that he would rather not be sentenced to further punishment by your father."

"Maybe you are right, Tony, I can't tell for sure. But I have to have faith in him just one more time. I just have to." He _wanted_ to. "So, I take from your previous words that you don’t consider the Avengers the enemy of Loki?"

Tony sighed deeply and busied his hands and probably his mind for a moment with playing with his empty glass and watching the little icicles swirl around on the thick bottom of the glass. "In his current condition? No. He has no magic as long as you let him wear those bracelets. He is injured and weak. He is no threat to us, at least for now I guess." He answered weary of his own words before he fell down on one of the comfortable chairs by the window. "But I don’t know how the others will react to this situation. I believe you want to have him stay here, for now, right?"

"I did not really think about it, to be honest, friend." Thor replied with a dry hum for it was the truth. After he had left Loki when the younger god fell asleep again, he had not really thought about what was to happen next. "I am quite positive that by now our father knows that Loki is here. It's Heimdall's duty to report on such things after all, although I am amazed that he has not summoned me yet if he knows, perhaps my mother has something to do with that. If my father agrees I would like to keep Loki here with me on Midgard so he can heal."

"He still needs to be punished for his deeds."

"He has been punished." Thor immediately grunted. There was not a question about it for him. Loki had suffered during the last year and to him, that was more than enough punishment. "But I agree that he still is to be trialed by our father the king for his deeds."

※※※※※

The bracelets were glistening mockingly at him in the loud, angry neon light of this snow white Midgardian … _room_. The room was too bright and the light hurt his eyes and burnt the thin skin of his eyelids whenever he shut them. He could barely sleep when the lights were on and he was not able to turn onto his side either because of the pain shooting through his body with the slightest bit of movement. This was almost like torture to him. He did not know how much time had passed since he fell asleep with Thor by his side and his son in his arms. There was no clock inside the room and no window showing him the outside world. He was still a prisoner, only his jailors had changed, apparently. He did not know if it was day- or nighttime. The only thing he knew was that his body was tired, aching and _blue_.

The last part angered him the most because he still did not possess enough energy or strength to make his body shape back into his Aesir form. He could not stand looking at his blue skin or those marks any longer, for they not only reminded him of his heritage but on his time in that dingy cell too. When he first learned about his heritage he had been outraged, but a tiny part of him even considered embracing his Jotun heritage fully, to run around like the monster he was. However know that he had spent a year with those monsters, he felt anxious in his own skin and he felt anxious just laying here not able to change into the body he was most familiar with and always thought to be his real one. What if they would find him again and take him back? What if his father would take him back to Asgard or give him again to the Jotun because he could not live with the shame any longer? Oh, his oaf of a brother would not say anything of that matter of course, at least not in his presence, but Loki was well aware that his stay here on Midgard could only be a temporary solution, that he was to go back to Asgard again and to face the justice his father would call upon him.

Odin was a righteous ruler, even a merciful ruler if he could, but he had only rarely shown mercy to his own sons. And even though Loki understood – unlike Thor – that their father had to be more stern with his own sons than everyone else in the realm, for once, Loki wished, he would show at least the hint of love and mercy to him for which he had always longed. It was only a matter of time now that he needed to face Odin again. But Thor, big, stupid Thor, still tried to act as if everything was well and as if there was no reason to be afraid anymore.

He had not said much after Loki revealed the true parentage of his son to Thor, _their_ son, who still had no name yet because Loki could simply not think of a name for him. He had never named his children in the past because there had never been enough time. Instead of talking, Thor had just wrapped the both of them more tightly in his arms and pressed a kiss to the crown of Loki's head with just so much as a hum. They would need to talk about it of course, but for now … for now everything seemed fine as it was. The only thing nagging him was that his son was not here with him. He was somewhere in this facility but judging by how quick Thor had been to retrieve him he could not be far.

Shortly Loki glanced to the camera in the corner of the room to his right near the door. It moved from time to time but stood still for a while now. He could not tamper with it either - not that there would be any reason to do so. Only … Well, he was tired of lying here _and_ he needed to pee. Of course, he could very probably call for someone. He did not believe that there was no one watching him in secret. Surely there was a guard in front of that door or someone watching him through that camera lens, but he clearly would not call out for anyone to help him. After all he was still Loki, Prince of Asgard, still, the proud man he had once been even though more than enough people tried to break him.

Slowly he brushed the covers off and sat up even though it shot pain through his mauled body. Thor had not put the soft cuffs into place again after he had fallen asleep and Loki appreciated this gesture of trust greatly for it made things easier for him now. Somehow it seemed his brother would never learn not to trust him. The camera did not move again and there was no further indication of someone noticing him move, so he gathered up his remaining spark of strength and courage and slowly stood up. When he first put a strain on his legs again he flinched under the sudden pain and sunk back on his bed for a second. He did not recall how often his bones had been broken within the past year. He had lost count at some point. Still, he fought his way back to his feet and concentrated just on getting to the door.

※※※※※

" _Sir_ , _it seems we have a little problem with our current guest_." Tony looked up from his task of fixing one of the new gloves for his next suit and lowered his screwdriver as if it was a dangerous weapon. Then again … in the wrong hands, it probably was. Natasha could even kill someone with a cotton ball if she wanted after all. Shortly he glanced at the camera feed and watched as Loki slowly left the room he was kept in. He was sure the god of mischief did not know where he was and he looked helpless on his long blue legs staggering across the hallway.

"Shall I inform Master Odinson?"

"Nah, I'll take care of it." He decided as he slowly rose from his barstool by the workbench. He would not be able to focus anyway on his work and since he was stuck and could not get the thing to work as he wanted it to work, he might as well focus his genius brain on other things first. He could need a distraction like that and maybe it was better that Thor would not be bothered with his escaping brother right now. The big guy still had not been able to stomach the news of him being a daddy, that was quite clear. _Plus_ … he was curious to learn more about this whole thing, for scientific reasons of course and certainly not because he liked gossip or the drama of the high society of Asgard.

It did only take him five minutes until he reached the floor on which Loki was kept. He was not sure if Loki was even aware of where he was. Maybe the demigod thought himself in some kind of S.H.I.E.L.D. facility or somewhere entirely else. He certainly did not look ready to run away, though, while Tony kept watch of the camera feed on his way down. With his magic still bound at least, he was not a threat they would not be able to handle. Tony would certainly never make this grave mistake of underestimating the lie-smith, not after he had thrown him out of his own window, but even though Loki was surely a skilled fighter, he was not like Thor, who could destroy things only with the brute strength of his hands when he was not in possession of his beloved hammer. Loki's strength was his magic and without it, he seemed more like a deer in the headlights of a truck. He knew that he was at a disadvantage and he knew that everyone around him knew that too.

"Are you lost or are you running away, Bambi? If it is the latter, your big thunderous brother would raise hell upon my humble abode and I would much rather not have my house being flooded because of a god's foul mood after I just finished renovating it." Indeed the god stopped clutching the wall on his left as he slowly turned his head to look at Tony over his right shoulder. He did not even seem surprised.

Until now Tony had stayed away from the god as much as he could, only watching him on occasion through the cameras after Loki's arrival on his deck. He remembered the venom-eyed god of mischief with the ink-black hair and the pale-white skin and how he had thrown him out of his own window. He remembered the maniac with the toothy grin who murdered thousands of people without doing so much as batting a lash at their screams. He remembered Loki tall and strong, now he seemed smaller and fragile, not like a person who threw someone else out of a window – though he would not put it past the guy.

He was still weak on his legs, Tony could even see his knees shaking underneath the weight of his body. He was still blue. Literally. Which was somewhat interesting to Tony. If he would have the chance he was sure that Bruce would gladly join him to examine the blue guy in front of him. He was curious what the markings on his face and body meant because he was sure that they needed to mean something at least. Apparently, those Norse gods never did something without meaning, even their clothes and scars did have meaning. Maybe those markings told who he was and from what family he was. Maybe they were just random lines. Maybe they looked all the same at the other Frost Giants.

Loki's eyes were gleaming red in his direction, maybe even out of anger. He doubted that the hint of fear was real, after all, he was still Loki, he was still the god of lies. Maybe he even lied to Thor about his child. No matter that Thor did not want to hear any of this, to Tony it was still a very real possibility. Maybe it would be best to keep his guard up and stay alerted.

"What do you want from me, mortal?" Loki hissed at him, but it lost most of its venom coming from a battered man like him. He could still see the bloody bumps on his face around his mouth were the horrible thick thread had sewn his lips shut. Due to his blue skin, his bruises seemed almost black on his face and the parts of his body Tony was allowed to see. The staff had dressed him in loose white pants and a simple shirt for his time being in their care. He was walking barefoot and to Tony, it was almost shocking how Loki even managed to walk at all considering his injuries.

"Oh I don’t know, I thought I would take a nightly stroll through my house. I didn’t know I would need to ask permission for that." Tony smirked as he stopped a few feet behind Loki and leaned against the wall Loki was still holding onto. "So. What are you up to this late? Trouble sleeping?"

"This is none of your business." Loki shot back as he tried to walk onwards.

"Well, your highness, you are surely aware that you are still considered a war criminal on this planet right? If it wouldn’t be for your big-hearted brother who always bows down to you and your lies, you wouldn’t be here. Fury would love to get your ass incarcerated and he will as soon as he catches you alone. And don’t think Fury would have done anything about your condition. He would have rather let you succumb to your wounds instead of helping you." Tony kept his voice as cheerful and friendly as he possibly could, not because he wanted Loki to feel safe around him (because let's face it: he never would), but to emphasize his threat and maybe get the god to understand.

"Are you threatening me?"

"No, I'm just telling you the consequences of your actions. We are yet to decide what will happen to you, as you can imagine." Tony hummed because unlike Loki, he was not lying – at least not now.

"It's not your place to decide my fate."

"Fury thinks differently and I bet your good old pal Hawkeye does so too. I think Clint would love to pierce out your eyes with an arrow if he ever got the chance. But for now, let's call it a truce, shall we? I bet you would like to see your son and maybe use the toilet."

He would have reckoned with more resistance, but, to Tony's biggest surprise, Loki melted by the mere mention of his baby son. There was another side to the evil maniac everyone knew Loki to be. Maybe, because Thor knew that side of him, was the reason why he always fell for his brother no matter the crimes Loki committed, no matter how many times he would get stabbed by his own baby brother. Maybe Thor had already seen this side of his brother. Maybe he could even understand in time, Tony briefly thought.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update and the short chapter XD I'm currently writing three fanfics at the same time and since this one was the last I started of the three I'm giving more priority to the other two. Plus I had a bit of a hard time with this chapter XD

"So how are going to call the little heir to the throne of Asgard?" Of course Tony was nonchalant as always, while he was gently swaying his glass before taking a sip – a custom the God of Mischief had noticed quite a lot even during his first stay on Midgard, but never really understood. Loki had not yet had much time to spend with this man, but the time he already spent with him he had seen how much he was drinking and wondered if he ever drank anything else but alcoholic beverages. This surely must be far from healthy for a normal human being such as this man. Not that he would find interest in the health of a mortal being after all. He only raised one brow at the man of iron, as his brother liked to call Mr. Anthony Stark usually before he let his gaze slip outside the large window and let it dance above the glistening and shimmering city that lay at the foot of the _Avengers Tower_ , as it was called now.

He had to confess, New York City truly looked beautiful at night. A part of him could understand the fascination all those mortals felt for this city and cities alike, although every true New Yorker would always say that there was no city like New York City.

"He is not the heir to the throne. Thor is and even when Thor will sit on the throne, he is not." Loki finally replied as his eyes fell upon Tony again. He felt at ease sitting so close to the glass of the window on this mountain of pillows under which there was a sofa hidden surely, with his baby in his arms sleeping peacefully. They had gone to grab his boy in silence so they would not alert anyone inside the tower, especially not Thor, even though Tony assured him that they were alone except for Thor and the good Captain apparently. The other _Avengers_ seemed to be out on some kind of mission or … they were just not here. Loki wondered if Tony might have already informed Bruce about Loki's presence at the tower and if that might be the reason that monstrous man was not yet here, but Tony assured him that Bruce simply was on a congress in Norway, as Loki had unveiled this suspicion of his.

"So are you saying that this little _wonder_ of yours is not Thor's child then? You see I suspected as much, but your brother was sure you would never lie to him about a matter such as this. Well, then again your brother truly is not the most intelligent being on this planet or anywhere in the nine realms, I suppose, and he would do about anything to protect his baby brother." Tony mocked as he took a seat opposite of Loki's position. He sat on the large armchair hunched over, with his elbows resting on his knees, the glass with the amber colored liquid between his calloused hands. Even in the dim light of the living room he looked tired and gray, like a man whose age suddenly came crashing down on him. His hair was disheveled and even though his smug grin always remained on his features, his brown eyes looked haunted.

Loki only snorted at the comment, before he looked down at his child and brushed a hand over his little head. He knew that Tony simply wanted to provoke him, to tease him so he would say something the inventor might use against him later on, but Loki did not really mind. What he did mind was the fact, that someone had indeed clothed his baby boy into a captain America themed romper suit. He did not even know something like this existed. He could only hope something like this did not exist for his brother's persona of the almighty Thor too. He would loathe seeing his baby boy with a toy Mjolnir. "No, he is Thor's child." Loki hummed and leaned his head back against the wall a bit. "But since we are not married since the whole of Asgard considers us to be brothers, this boy will never be anything else but my bastard son in the eyes of the realm. And even if Thor would go back home with him, he would be Thor's bastard. There is no way our father would ever legitimize him - at least not as long as this boy is my kid too."

He had always known, that if it would come to a situation like this in which he and Thor would have a baby, there was no way he would get to claim the child as his as well. It was either his or Thor's, but unless Odin would someday finally tell the world who Loki really was, until the day the Jotun prince was not just a rumor told in hushed voices all over Asgard, he would not get to speak up about Thor and his relationship, let alone their son. Of course, he was a man who did not value rules as much as others might, of course, he was Loki and he usually did whatever he wanted and deemed right to further his own agenda, but if he would do what he would usually do, he would not just harm Thor, he would harm the boy and harming one of his children simply was not going to happen. There was silence for a moment, but then, to his dismay, Tony spoke up again. "Thor told me about your other kids. What's with them?"

"They are gone." Maybe his response came a bit too quick even for his liking, maybe it was a titbit too sharp, but it was the truth so why bother keeping up the tension. "Most of them did not even survive the pregnancy and the ones that did not survive being born. He is the first one that lived longer than a few hours."

He could not help but avert his gaze again to rest his eyes upon his child. Maybe Thor was right when he called the boy a _wonder_ for he truly was one. The first one to survive, the first one to be held by him _and_ his father, the first one even that would get a name, he guessed, even though he was still reluctant to think of one. He feared still that if he would decide upon a name for the boy, he would get taken from him and then the weight of losing his child would only be more devastating. He was reluctant to get too attached to his own child because he was afraid that if he would, he would not survive losing him again. He had lost too much in his life already to take that risk. He almost expected Tony to apologize for his loss, as mortals liked to do normally, but he did not. Instead, he got up from his spot and walked over to the bar again to fetch himself another drink. Surely he even thought that it served someone such as Loki right to lose his children like he did, even before he had done anything wrong that would deserve some kind of punishment, let alone _that_ kind of punishment.

He looked up in surprise when the inventor came back to him and he smelled the burning sensation of alcohol in his nostrils, as the man offered a glass to him almost immediately. He had never been quite fond of alcohol, or at least not of beer and mead served on Asgard. "'Thought you could need one too." He sighed. For a moment Loki just stared, but then took the second glass out of Tony's hand.

"Well, I guess it was overdue anyway. Didn’t you offer me a drink a year ago?"

"All good things come to those who wait." Tony grinned slumping back on his chair again. "So! _Anthony_ is a nice name for a baby. We could call him Tony Junior."

※※※※※

Loki's recovery was making progress, slowly but surely. A week after he woke up, he first managed to change back into his Aesir form, much to Tony's dismay who wanted to study him oh so very desperately. Of course, Loki did not grant him the favor of changing back only to satisfy Tony's curiosity. To Tony's and Steve's (and probably even Thor's) big surprise, Loki was even behaving decently. For the most part, he stayed at the medical unit as he was told to be checked on by their staff, reading away his time and only rarely he followed Tony's invitation to meet them upstairs in the lounge. To their even greater surprise (and Cap's suspicion) he was even quite fun to be around after he started to get better. Still, his green eyes were hollow and haunted like those of a man having spent all his life in some kind of prison cell all by himself with no one to talk to or to confide in but the nightmarish shadows dancing over the walls. Maybe this was even how he felt about his life, but of course, the inventor tried not to look too much into this.

But still, after over a week it started to get a little bit harder to keep quiet about Loki being on earth, especially of him being at the tower. They did not really decide on not telling Fury, of course, Tony simply argued that this was his home and thus it was only his business whose guests he housed. It was of course only a matter of time until the old Pirate would find out about it – or if he already knew, until he would come over to have a nice, friendly chat with them.

"What exactly are your plans now?" By now Tony was almost used to see Thor with a baby in his arms and surely this would not be the last one for the big guy to hold if he would ever get his way. But of course, they all knew that this was not very likely anyway. After everything Tony already heard about Odin and his A+ parenting skills concerning Loki, he doubted that the so-called Allfather was a very fatherly figure as soon as it concerned his infamous second son. Loki and his big adopted brother were not only sole opposites by looks, but also by behaviorism and when it came to their parents apparently. Thor was the strong, heroic, good looking prince every king wanted to have as a son, who always sought out advice with his father and tried to learn from him, while Loki was more of a _mama's boy_. At least, Tony guessed, that was something he and Loki had in common.

Thor sat by the windows, resting his back on the soft big cushions of the sofa in his usual _Midgardian_ choice of fashion and cradled his baby son. He looked almost normal if it would not be for Mjolnir resting on the floor beside him. For every uninvolved person the big guy was only just a normal Joe with his child, but once you have seen the big guy fight, it really was hard to not see him as the fighter he truly was, even when he was wearing flannel. The god of thunder seemed to enjoy his stay on earth anyway. Most of the time he was either working out with Steve in the training room or he was with Loki until his mildly annoyed brother and lover would kick him out, because of all the fussing over him. At least that helped to make the raven-haired god more sympathetic to Steve too, who was still very cautious around the trickster.

"I must confess, I do not yet know, friend." Thor solemnly stated half focused on the topic at hand, half focused on his baby boy and the task of making him squeal with silly grimaces. Well, at least that was a truth to be spoken clearly: Thor was a natural when it came to babies, but as far as Tony could tell, so was Loki. Weird really, after he first met this madman destroying New York and laughing about all the death he caused like a complete lunatic. Still, when Loki was with his child, he was a whole different person. Like it was hard to forget Thor's fighting skills when first seen, it was hard to not see Loki's fatherly (or rather motherly) side when first seen. He really was quite loving and affectionate to his son, while Thor could always be glad if Loki would not shove his feet in his face when the big guy came too close.

"Of course I am aware that I cannot keep my brother hidden forever in your house and that is neither mine nor his wish anyway. Of course, the both of us want to go home at one point, but the question remains if we should. Surely my father is already informed about the addition to his family, for Odin sees and knows everything. But I guess, if he knows, he is only granting us a moment of peace before he will ultimately demand our return to Asgard. I must confess that I do fear this day, for I do not know how he will treat Loki or the child. I doubt that he will allow him to roam free again. The people of Asgard still think him a criminal and so do the people on Midgard. His crimes and their impact do not simply vanish only because he had been submitted to one year of torture from another enemy he created and I fear that my father might go as far to tell, that the torture he went through had only been the just answer to Loki killing the Jotun King and thus his own biological father. He has done great harm to his own people with this brash action and only to please Odin. He created a war between Asgard and Jotunheim because of this and then he brought down mayhem on Midgard too. The situation will not find a solution by my father scolding and grounding him for a month."

"You want to protect him." Steve ushered quietly as he slumped down on the other end of the sofa. For now, he had remained silent while he stood by the window and looked outside onto the city. It was not always easy to discuss things like justice and honor and righteousness with either Steve or Thor, but hopefully at least today they would agree on something. Shortly Steve glanced at Thor's still nameless boy and grinned, as Tony briefly noticed. Good old cap was a family man too of course, that the inventor had already written into his little mental notebook he had on all his teammates. He always volunteered when it came to checking on the boy. "I understand this. But Loki has to be punished for his misdeeds and trying to hide him from Odin or S.H.I.E.L.D. is the wrong way to go about it. I don’t know you father, but I refuse to believe that he won't show mercy to Loki. After all, you said it yourself once: Odin raised Loki as his son and he loved him as his son too. No father wants to hurt their child."

"I'm afraid you do not know my father, my dear captain." Loki's voice was sweet as honey but sharp as a blade as he slowly entered the room. It was rare for the god to join them unless one of them asked him too, but there he stood, still clothed in the simple white pants and shirt of the medical unit downstairs, with his long black hair falling loosely over his back, tousled at the ends. He still seemed frail and thin and his steps were not as elegant and cat-like as they had once been. "My father always went to great lengths to show me and my brother that the King of Asgard needs to be incredibly strict when it comes to punishing his children. I believe both of us were left with one or two scars telling of his _love_ and _mercy_."

He did not stop in his tracks as he made his way to the sofa opposite the one his brother and the good old captain sat on to slump down on it not so very graceful as everyone expected him to. Tony had almost been certain that the younger of the two northern gods would first collect his child from his oaf of a brother, but he did not but held his green eyes focused on the little thing in those strong arms. It was almost funny to see such a big guy like Thor holding such a small creature. He could crush the little one without effort, but he was gentle as if he was holding a daisy flower between his thumb and his little finger. "But brother" Thor started unfazed. "of course he needs to make an example of his own children. As the King of Asgard, he cannot simply pardon his children every time they do something bad and you know that. The good people of Asgard would riot if he would. He had to be even sterner with us than he is with his subjects, as a good king should."

"And of course you, brother dear, know everything about being a good king, right?" Loki's words were dripping with venom and although this was nothing new to them – and clearly not to his brother especially – it was odd concerning the progress the god of mischief seemed to have made. Then again only a fool would believe that a person like Loki would _make progress_ in becoming a better person through torture. He was maybe not the same man he had been when he first came to earth, he surely changed at least a little bit, but there was still the flame of hatred burning loudly in his chest, maybe even stronger than ever before. He was yearning for revenge and Tony could sense this with every fiber of his being. This was dangerous. "There was a reason why father exiled you to Midgard before. There is a reason why _I_ should be king instead!"

Outside the nice weather changed within the blink of an eye from sunlight and a perfectly blue sky to a thunderstorm with lightning crashing from the heavens. However, no lightning bolt could be as impressive as the look Thor shot at his brother with so much fury Tony felt the sudden urge to run for cover behind his bar. It was, however, the newborn Avenger who saved the situation as the little bundle started to wail. Immediately Loki rose from his spot to bridge the distance between him and Thor, but Thor glanced at him in annoyance. "I got this." He frowned as he gently cradled his baby son and tried to soothe him with the storm still raging in the background. The previous topic seemed all but forgotten as the two gods found a new one to fight about.

"No, you're doing it all wrong, you oaf." Loki exclaimed sitting down beside his brother and tried to collect the baby from him, but Thor still refused. "You are way too harsh, Thor!"

"I got this!" But the poor child was still wailing and kept on crying even harder while his parents kept fighting about him and who was better equipped to soothe him. Under different circumstances and without a thunderstorm raging over New York, it would have been almost funny, but since Tony had never been fond of children before his view was certainly not going to change with a crying child in his house.

"For god's sake JARVIS, could you turn that off?" Tony muttered more to himself than to anyone else, but he was aware of the glare Loki shot at him, while JARVIS' response was neutral as ever. " _I'm afraid I cannot do this, Sir._ " The AI replied, which only gave Tony the idea that he might look into the programming of JARVIS a bit more to find a way how they could use him to babysit the little prince from now on.

"Guys…" Steve chimed in after a while and got up from the sofa, seemingly tired of watching the two stubborn men fight and throwing insults at one another, truly brothers now and certainly no lovers at the moment. "Hand him over, I got this and you two need to talk about all of this." He did not ask for Thor to give him the baby, he simply commanded and to everyone's surprise, Thor did not resist as Steve grabbed the boy from his arms and cradled him against his shoulder. Steve was a natural with kids, because the minute his left hand rested on the boy's small back, the kid was quiet and only made little noises of relief and approval to be taken from his noisy parents. Apparently, the kid already got an attitude and surely he got it from Loki.

At least the gods stopped arguing because of this sudden change and even the weather outside started to get better again. The clouds moved aside to make room for the sun again and vanished completely shortly after. "Come with me, little guy, we go on an adventure while your parents sort out their problems, right? Right."

It had something comical how Steve left them with the fathers of the child still looking flabbergasted, to say the least. An expression Tony would have never expected to see on Loki's face truly. But instead of really talking about their problems as Steve had commanded them to, Loki got up again and marched out of the lounge and through the open doors onto the patio. He did not seem to mind that he was walking with his naked feet through puddles on the ground. Thor sighed deeply, watching his brother walking towards one of the lounge chairs and sitting down with his long hair swaying softly in the winds. He slumped down into the cushions even more and grabbed the glass standing on the side table. It was empty but it seemed he just needed to busy his hands. If anyone knew this feeling than of course Tony Stark, who himself slumped down on the sofa opposite Thor, grateful that there was finally silence once more.

"So, big guy, what now? What are your plans? And don’t tell me you don’t know because we both know that you already have a plan." Tony began sipping on his drink. He shortly noticed that he was drinking more since Loki was here. Maybe it was because of his strained nerves. After all, housing an injured supervillain was even for him a bit much.

A deep sigh left Thor's lips – this too was becoming a habit apparently, that was strongly connected to Loki's presence. "I think I should go home and talk to my father about the situation. I do not know why he has not yet taken action. Surely Heimdall informed him about the situation at hand because this would be his duty. Maybe it is even thanks to our mother that he hasn’t done something yet. But I cannot hide Loki for much longer from our father and keeping him here is not a safe option anyway, I fear."

"You mean because of Shield, because Fury might come and take him with force?" Tony enquired carefully. Loki was a difficult topic to discuss with Thor. It had always been like this and now that there was a baby involved it seemingly only gotten worse. Thor's wish to protect was quite extreme when it came to his adopted brother and of course his own child. If Fury would ever make the grave mistake to come here and try to get Loki, he would not come out of this without a fight.

"Yes." Thor sighed. "And I do understand why he would want to take Loki in. My brother's deeds have harmed this world greatly, he has caused suffering and great destruction, but he needs to face Asgardian justice and for that I worry even more."

"Well, either way, Loki has to face the consequences of his actions and I believe he is aware of that. The only thing that worries me personally, is his drive for revenge. I think you are indeed aware that your brother will not just go back home, face his sentence and forget about the whole ordeal. He will seek out revenge for what has been done to him." Tony smirked. If Loki would ever get the chance he would destroy those who hurt him, but Thor only made a grimace.

"We cannot risk another war with Jotunheim. My father-"

He was interrupted by the sound of the elevator doors opening and the sound of heels _click-clacking_ on the floor coming from the hall. "So I was right after all, Thor has dropped by for a visit and was so generous to douse the city." Natasha was soaking wet as she stepped into the lounge with her clothes sticking to her body. She did not seem angry though. "Well, what brings you here and what happened to make you angry, my big friend?"

Thor immediately tensed and although he was careful not to glance towards the patio doors, Natasha still caught him in the act, but before she could even think of investigating, Tony rose from his spot and walked to the bar to fetch a glass of vodka for the lady. "Loki happened."

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the late update and this following bad chapter, but right now work is really stressful. Maybe there won't be any updates for the next few weeks, but I promise that I will not abandon this fic for certain.

"You know, even a king needs rest from time to time, my love." Frigga's voice echoed from the stone pillars and the endlessly high walls of the throne room as she made her way past the guards and towards the king sitting on his golden throne. A tender breeze coming from the large windows made her long golden hair sway softly. Outside the world was dark and the stars were laughing down on them already. It was late, but for quite a while Frigga was left alone in her bed and Odin was very well aware of that fact and that his beloved wife would not tolerate this for much longer. He tried a tired smile, as she reached him finally, but of course she could see right through that façade of his. Clearly Loki had inherited that from his mother, he mused silently, remembering the way his second son used to stare at him or other people from time to time as if he was reading their mind just by observing their gestures.

Loki had always been curious, always weary of his surroundings too. He remembered little Loki sitting somewhere near the windows of the giant throne room with a book when he had been just a child, trying to act as if he was just reading, while in fact, he was listening to his father and the people who talked to him. He had always been so much more attentive to little gestures and expressions than his big brother. Sometimes Odin found himself wondering how someone as attentive as Loki could have so often fallen into the trap of people who wanted to hurt him.

It seemed that only when it came to himself, Loki was blind to those things.

"I'm afraid I cannot afford rest, my love." He replied as he grabbed her gentle hands carefully to plant a kiss on them. "There are too many things demanding the King's attention."

He was aware of the fact how his wife looked around the throne room. "You are aware that you are alone, right?" She smiled. "But I believe the business that is keeping you awake and keeping my husband away from our bed, wears the name Loki."

"I cannot fool you."

"No you cannot and yet you like to try apparently." She sighed and sat down on the armrest of the throne, as she had liked to do in younger years. "So please, share this burden with me as you used to. Heimdall told me Loki is safe on Midgard with Thor."

He nodded with a low hum coming from his lips. "Our truce with the Jotun was always fragile and Loki destroyed it when he killed their king, his own father. You know, when the time would have come, I would have talked to Laufey about Loki's future, I wanted to unite our kingdoms through Loki, but this silly boy thought he needed to prove his alliance with us in killing his own father. Until Loki is dead their new king will not rest."

"And he won't stop after killing Loki." Frigga reminded him gently. "He would want to kill Loki's child too, although he his half-Aesir as well, he too means a threat to his reign."

 _Yes_ , Odin thought bitterly. _Loki's child. Thor's child._ "You know, when I took Loki to bring him to safety all those years ago, I did not think of his worth as a prince at first. I just saw an infant that needed someone to help him and so I did. I wanted to love him as my own flesh and blood even though he was the blood of my worst enemy."

"And you did, love." Frigga gently mused.

"But I never quite forgot his worth; I never quite forgot what I wanted to do when the time was right. Maybe it was a mistake to never tell him about his heritage. Maybe I should have trusted him more with the truth so that he could get used to the thought. Maybe everything would have ended differently then if he would have just seen that we still love him no matter what race he is. Instead, I always favored Thor and did not look after Loki as much as I should have. He has suffered through much under my watch and many of those things I could have avoided. Maybe it's no wonder he acted like he did."

"Punishing yourself for something you cannot change any longer is of no use, dear. We now need to focus on the future, on Asgard's future and the future of our children and of our grandchild which will take the throne at some point in the future." Gently she brushed her fingers over his left cheek.

"Loki cannot stay on Midgard forever, Frigga. He needs to come back; otherwise, his presence on Midgard will endanger this mortal realm too as soon as the Jotun will learn about his presence there. The king of the Frost Giants will not rest until Loki and his son is dead."

"So you are going to bring him back home soon?" Of course, his wife sounded hopeful to see her son again after such a long time in which she had not seen Loki. Last time they had seen him, Loki had killed Laufey and let himself drop into the abyss. Surely she wanted nothing more than to pull her son into a hug and coo over her grandchild. Frigga had always been more attentive to the relationship between their sons. Thor had known for much longer than Loki that his little brother was in fact not his brother, but although this somehow never meant a difference to Thor, Odin was aware that he and Loki were closer than brothers for quite a while.

"I wish to." Odin sighed. "But the people of Asgard still see him as a criminal – which he is – and they don’t know about his true heritage. How am I supposed to explain to our subjects that Loki is a Frost Giant and that their crown prince has a child with his own brother, adopted or not."

"I remember when you first noticed the relationship between them; how you was furious about it, although this was your plan from the get-go." Frigga chuckled. "If they would marry now, you would get what you have planned for. And maybe, well, maybe the king of the Frost Giants will no longer go after Loki then. All Loki has to do is to abstain from his claim to the throne of Jotunheim and thus abstain from the baby's claim too."

"The question remains if Loki is willing to do just that. After all he terrorized another realm just because he desired the throne."

※※※※※

"Clint is not going to like this when he comes home." Natasha dryly informed her teammates, as she slowly sat down on the large sofa next to the god of thunder himself, as if her comrades would really need such information from her. "Congrats on the babe though." She added as she patted Thor on the back lightly. She was not a woman that would scream or squeal at the sight of any baby or small child and if being asked, it was most likely that she would say that she did not like children either, but she could not really fool her teammates and thus closest friends, no matter how much she liked to try. They did not ask her if she ever wanted to have kids of her own and thus she would not need to tell them lies. It was an arrangement that was working for everyone involved just fine.

"Clint is going to deal with the situation." Tony decided, though of course, they all knew that it was not as simple and easy as that. Loki had possessed Clint, after all, he had made him do horrible things, to commit terrible crimes and took every bit of control from the archer. Of course, no one would forgive something like this as lightly just because the person who had done that to them would maybe apologize. There was a storm coming, as soon as Clint would set foot back into the tower which could only be a matter of hours now that Natasha was back too.

Maybe they should get Loki out of his way for the first few days, or as long as it would take for Clint to adjust to the thought of Loki being here with them. This was not going to be easy, but he thought that Clint would not go after Loki as long as Thor was around to keep an eye on his little brother and their babe. Clint was maybe hot headed from time to time and sometimes proved that he had indeed a bad temper, but he was not a complete fool.

It turned out that Steve was a much better babysitter than any of them would have expected, because, as he came back to the group, the still nameless child had a new diaper on and seemed fed and happy. "Well, at least he doesn’t have horns or a few extra legs." Natasha commented on the baby as the little godling went back to his father's arms with big bright green eyes resting on the face of the newcomer. Already one was able to tell of the bright and curious mind that the boy possessed surely. Thor either did not understand the joke or he decided not to comment on it, instead, he beamed with pride holding his first born son and accepting every opportunity to show his son off to the world and his closest friends.

"He will be a fierce warrior someday, my friends."

※※※※※

He wanted to say that there had not been many things that had changed since the widow arrived back at the tower, but sadly that would be as far from the truth as it could get. A few days after the redhead came back Loki was finally allowed to leave his room down in the medical unit to move upstairs and thus closer to his baby son but to everyone's big surprise he had refrained from moving into Thor's bedroom like the Avengers and his brother surely had expected him to do. The truth was that Loki tried to stay away from those people as much as possible since the woman came back and that included his own brother.

It was not that he feared her or any of those pathetic little mortals. Of course not, after all, he was still Loki, God of Mischief, silver-tongue, and sorcerer - even though his magic was still bound. Well, he did not exactly need his magic to deal with those creatures if necessary, or at least that was what he wanted to tell himself although he knew that it was not the truth and he did not even feel the thrive to harm them in any way. For now, he was kind of depended on them for as long as they decided to keep his location hidden from this eyepatch man, he was safe in this tower and he did not feel the need to leave the tower anyway.

He did not wish to speak to the others, not even to his brother, the one person he had missed and longed for the most in this past year. He did not want to think about his time in the dungeon, the horrors he had endured, the pain that had been inflicted upon him. He did not want to think about the dark nights in which he had horribly missed Thor and only wished that his oaf of a brother- of a lover would finally find him and rescue him. Well, there was the other problem, right? He did not want to be saved. He did not want to be rescued. He was no damsel in distress, he was no sad, pathetic, weak, little princess who waited for her knight in shining armor. He was no fragile little thing. He could still save himself and he had proven that he was able to.

He had saved himself from death as he fell into the abyss and he had saved himself from the Jotun, from his own kind. It appeared as though he belonged nowhere. He did not really belong to the Aesir and he did definitely not belong to the Jotun. He was his own enemy, torn between two worlds with no place for him to go to, no place for him to relax and feel at ease, feel as though he belonged. At least here on Midgard, he felt a lot more calm.

Well, that was until Black Widow, Natasha Romanov, arrived at the tower. It was not exactly her presence at the tower that made him feel uneasy, but the knowledge that it was only a matter of time now until Hawkeye, her best friend, would come here too that made his skin crawl. In his mind, he had seen the things he kept hidden from his teammates with exception of Agent Romanov and thus he, of course, knew about the man’s secret private life, but still, that would not keep him from coming. A part of him was even sure that Natasha had told Clint about him, but if she did, he wondered why the archer had not come yet to this tower. Surely Barton could hardly wait to have his revenge. If their places were swapped, Loki surely would have had his revenge already.

When his time would come, he would get his revenge. He would destroy Jotunheim once and for all as he should have done when all of this had started. If it had not been for Thor, he would have made it and he would have never fallen into the abyss, he would have never met Thanos the Titan, he would have never been forced to try and conquer this realm.

Of course, he pondered, he could still tell the Avengers what had happened to him and how Thanos forced him to do what he had done, but it felt like a lazy cop out, like a silly excuse, like something they would not believe if he would tell them. All he knew was that he himself would not believe a story such as his and truth was, he was not innocent in the first place. He was aware that his brother tried everything to see innocence in him and that he was at least partly blind to his mistakes and flaws. Sure, Thor would not as easily forget the things Loki had done on Asgard, but those were things Thor surely thought forgiven because of the suffering Loki had received in this past year and he would gladly accept any kind of explanation that would rid Loki from his guilt. He was not innocent. He was not completely at fault either.

It had been Thanos, yes, but there had been desire to conquer, desire to be as mighty as Thor, maybe as mighty as Odin, desire for a throne he thought should be his. Thanos had only given him the means and a welcome apology in case he needed one. Yes, he had forced him, but was it force when a part of him wanted the things that had happened? It was the same old part of him that always spoke up when he felt as if he was treated ill. The snake that always stretched its neck when it thought it witnessed injustice towards Loki.

"You seem to make yourself quite scarce, don’t you?" He should have known that the spy would seek him out at one point but maybe he had just hoped he would escape the red-haired woman for a while longer. He had not even heard her coming, but it would have surprised him if he had.

He did not look at her right away sitting on the large windowsill of his room. His son was lying in the crib that Tony had got for him (apparently) and slept peacefully. He was a quiet child and he rarely cried, as if he would know that his father would have a hard enough time anyway. Only as he could see the reflection of the woman in the window hovering above the nightly skyline of Manhattan, he turned to look at her. Her face was calm and lacking emotion, which gave him the impression that she was quite used to hiding her emotions. Then again a person such as her had to be used to something like this, he guessed.  She was a killer, after all, and he knew her deeds pretty well. Now, however, he did not feel the desire to point that knife against her again.

"I just do not feel the desire of being around people who despise me." Even though he was well aware that he maybe deserved being despised by those mortals.

Natasha stood a few feet away and crossed her arms before she walked over to his bed and sat down on the end to stare at him like a cat. Her red hair beautifully framed her pale face and sometimes Loki felt the snake of jealousy stretch its head every time he looked at a pretty woman like her. It was not like he wanted to be a woman, for that he would only need to shift his body to his own liking, it was just that as a man he would probably never have the same social standing beside his brother as a beautiful woman would have. "Well, can you really hold it against us?" The woman asked with a faint smile on her face. His brother would have surely sprung to his aid, trying to comfort him and tell him that no one was despising me, not getting that this behavior did not at all help Loki in any way. "You attacked our world, after all, you destroyed big parts of this city and harmed innocent people. I think we all are justified in despising you – well except for your brother of course. He always tries to find an excuse for your behavior as it seems, even more so now." She only nodded her head in the general direction of the baby to emphasize what she meant with _now_.

Loki found himself smirking. Her words were calm and truthful and he greatly appreciated it. Tony was normally making fun of a situation rather than talking in a serious fashion about the incident and Cap, well, he was quite like his brother.

"I do apologize for the trouble I made on Midgard." He then answered her with a court nod of his head. "And although it was not all my own doing or free will, I know that at that time I would have done it even without Thanos forcing me to do so."

"I must say you are not very good when it comes to apologies, are you?"

"What would it even mean if I would say that I am deeply sorry and that I didn’t mean all this chaos? It would be false. I did mean all this chaos. It was not entirely my own will, that I can say freely and if I wouldn’t have had Thanos looming over me, I maybe would not have gone as far as I have, but I did what I thought was my right to do as a god. I apologize for causing so much harm, though. Under different circumstances, if Thanos would not have forced me if I wouldn't have needed to fear for my own life, maybe I would not have gone against you mortals as I have and clearly I wouldn’t have attacked you or your friend Barton in the way I have."

She smirked before she brushed a hand through her hair. "So, has the little stinker a name yet? Your brother told me that you couldn’t decide on one yet. But I must say that we all start to grow tired of calling your son _stinker_ or _little one_ or whatever the others call him."

Loki sighed and swung his legs back over the edge of the windowsill to place his feet on the ground, so he could face her with his whole body. "Do you have any suggestions how to name that baby?" He smirked and brushed his long hair back over his shoulder. "You see, until now my children never lived long enough to receive a name." And if he was honest, he would say that he was still afraid that his son would get taken from him too. "In addition to that, how am I supposed to name this boy when I don’t even know how his future might play out? Should I name him in Jotun tradition or should I name him in Asgardian tradition? Will he be respected and accepted as Thor's son? Will he have a place in Asgard?"

"I can't say that I completely understand this dilemma, but I would assume that it is a huge deal in royal families like yours." Natasha finally agreed but leaned forward a bit more. "But you see, me, as a simple Midgardian woman, would advise you to just don’t give a fuck about these social standards you are facing. Aren’t you Loki, the god of chaos? Aren’t you supposed to do what you want anyway? Like hell, you could name your son Carl for all I care."

He was quiet for a moment, even though a grin was pulling at his mouth. "If I would do what I want, I would go back to Jotunheim right now to slaughter everyone who had dared to harm me in the past year. I am their rightful king and they dared to oppose me and for that, I want to make them bleed. But until now every time I did what I wanted, it has proven to be fatal to the things I loved. This is not just about me. I don’t want to hurt Thor or our son."

"And you really think you could hurt them just with a name?" Natasha asked, but she did not seem judgmental in any way, instead she seemed honestly curious about this whole matter. Loki however just snorted and crossed his arms. Those mortals really had no clue how the world functioned, he thought briefly, but then again it seemed they just did not know how _his_ world functioned. Maybe he was the one who had to learn a few things from them now.

"Of course.", he snorted. "A name is not just a name, it’s a statement, something another person has to live with their entire life. My name is a traditional Jotun name, I should have known from the start that I am not really an Asgardian. If I would name my son in Jotun fashion the name would rest upon him like a stigma for the rest of his life, making clear that he is the child of a monster, but giving him and Asgardian name would mean I would give him into Odin's hands."

"Well, he is his grandson, right?" He wanted to reply something snarky, but he didn’t. It was the truth, after all, his son was Odin's grandchild. Now they really were a family, he supposed and there was no way even Odin could deny that as a fact. Loki might not be his son, not his own flesh, and blood, but the boy was. But did this really mean anything to the Allfather? Would this fact alone keep his son from harm? "Maybe you should talk to Thor about those things, you know? The big guy is moping around constantly because you won't really talk to him since you are back."

He could not even deny that this was indeed true. He had avoided Thor greatly since he was allowed to walk around freely inside the estate of the man of iron. He did not even quite know why that was. He loved Thor, he had missed him and he had been afraid to never seem him again. Now he was allowed to be with him again and he could not bring himself to spend time in his presence. Wasn’t this odd? Then again, was it? Every time he thought he could hold something dear or that things were starting to look up again for him, usually, everything went to shit. Why should it be different now? They would go back home together soon and then Odin would surely imprison him once and for all.

But what if Thor would finally understand that what they had done before was a mistake? Would he turn his back to him eventually? Loki was quite sure that his brother would never leave his child behind and that he would maybe even stick with Loki because he felt compelled to do so now that they were parents. Sad thing was however that Loki did not wish Thor to stick with him just because they had a child. However, Thor would surely soon see through his façade and start seeing the monster behind his eyes truly.

He was not fit to sit beside Thor on the throne. He was not fit to be Thor's mate for the end of time. He was not fit to rule alongside his brother. He had never been fit for these things and everyone except him had known that from the start, even his own family perhaps. And a part of him did not even want to sit beside Thor. He wanted to be his equal when he would go back to Asgard, he did not wish to be just a pretty little thing sitting silently beside him. He did not want to be seen as the little brother, he did not want to be seen as the mistress or just _mother_ to Thor's child and future children perhaps. He wanted to be his equal, nothing more. That was what he had always wanted.

It was much later when Loki finally left the room and the night was so heavy and thick that one might be able to cut the darkness with a knife. His son was sleeping soundly in his little bed and Loki did not wish to wake him up. He was sure, if his son would wake and maybe cry, Jarvis would notify him. This weird robotic invisible thing surely came with its benefits, he guessed, but he still tried to not become too dependent on it. He told himself that he wanted to only stay for a moment before he would go back to his own chambers, but he already wasted a good of five minutes just standing in the doorway to Thor's room, just staring at his brother's form on the bed. Thor had always had the habit of sleeping naked and of always throwing every blanket away while sleeping while Loki would always curl himself into these blankets his brother had shed like a snake its skin.

He found himself not knowing what to do next as he stood in his Midgardian sleepwear, a pair of black pants and a large green shirt, with his hair tied into a braid and staring at his brother. A part of him was glad that Thor was sleeping, but originally he had hoped to find him awake so that they would be able to talk in earnest. Maybe it was better like this, but right when he wanted to turn around and leave, there was a faint rustling coming from the bed.

"Loki?" Thor's voice sounded raspy and hoarse and when he shot a glance back over his shoulder Thor had propped himself up on his right arm to look at him from the bed. Loki was sure his pale skin must be like a flashlight in the darkness. As pale as he was it must be hard to not see him in the darkness especially with the faint moonlight shining through the large windows.

"I did not wish to wake you." Loki stated quietly although one might have expected something different from the god of mischief. It was true that he liked to raise chaos and mischief, but it was not like he would run around doing nothing else and purposefully waking up other people. His brother knew this of course, but he smiled anyway.

He heard the ruffling of the blankets as his brother was sitting up in his bed. He did not say something, to Loki's great surprise because he knew his brother quite liked to talk, instead,Thor only outstretched his left hand in his direction, a clear invitation for Loki which he was reluctant to accept. He hesitated for a bit, but then he overcame his doubts and slowly approached the bed to grab his brother's large hand as he kneeled on the mattress. He wasn’t quite sure if he wanted to stay with him for the night, but the sentimental part of his brain begged him to. Being with Thor always made him feel a lot safer than he probably should feel.

"Sorry for stabbing you." Loki quietly mumbled as he stayed on his knees. In the darkness of this bedroom, his brother stared at him in slight confusion, before he seemingly noticed how Loki's eyes had darted towards the small scar his dagger had left behind on his brother's side. Thor huffed, but then, with a grin, he pulled Loki closer so the younger god lost his balance and fell beside him. Loki winced as a little pain shot through his body, but of course, Thor wasted no time to bury Loki underneath his broad form, ripping the blanket over the two of them as if he wanted to shield them both from the rest of the world.

"It's just a scratch, I barely even felt it." Thor smirked playfully. "If you really want to hurt me, Loki, you need either a bigger knife or leave me again without telling me where you went to or if you plan on coming back to me."

Loki felt a slight blush creeping up his neck, although he usually was none to blush. This time he was grateful for the darkness obscuring Thor's sight of his face, as he bravely placed his slim hands on both sides of Thor's face and stole a kiss from those plump lips. His brother was always way too open with his words. Loki was no friend of big declarations of love. He was a talented speaker, yes, but he did not really enjoy talking about his feelings or his fears. Thor was better in this field than him, he guessed and maybe it was better like this because otherwise he maybe would have never learned about his brother's true feelings towards him after their first night together, back when he himself had been oh so very naïve still.

"I won't." Loki quietly promised as they broke apart after a heartbeat or two. "I promise I won't go anywhere." There was much to talk about with Thor and he knew this just as well as Thor, but Loki simply could not bring himself to do it. He wanted to savor this moment, to be close to his oaf of a brother and to feel his big arms around him so that nothing in the world could ever cause harm for him again.

Maybe he should just accept his fate, he pondered. Maybe he should go back to Asgard and face his father's justice. How much worse could it be than what he had suffered under the Jotun anyway?


	6. Chapter 6

It was summer in the United States of America, and so it was supposed to be so hot in the streets of Manhattan, that one would be able to cook eggs on the steaming hot pavement. Instead, it was storming and raining for days on end now. Bolts of Lightning were flashing across the steel gray skies and turned even the darkest night into bright daylight and the thunder was rumbling so loudly that hardly anyone could even waste a second thought about sleeping at night. Of course, New York's weathermen were helpless like little kids and terribly confused by the phenomenon that seemed to be hovering exclusively above the island of Manhattan. Tony Stark however for once could claim that he was one of the very few people on earth who knew exactly what the cause of this unusual weather phenomenon was. The people of Manhattan could deem themselves lucky that there was not a new Ice Age coming for them too, he silently mused on his way through the tower, only to stop by a door that had become quite a hotspot for concerned inhabitants of this very building as of late.

"Really, Elsa, I think you should go and talk to Sven before someone starts building a new arc and collects random animals from zoos all over the world."

He found Loki in his room, which he still inhabited without Thor, but together with their still very much nameless son. To Tony (and Steve, but not so much to Natasha) it was an enigma, after the two gods had seemingly smoothed things out a bit a while ago, why Loki still preferred to be alone in his room - or why, and that was the important part about this, he chose to avoid Thor altogether. Loki sat with a book on his lap, the baby sleeping peacefully in his little bed next to the comfortable looking windowsill, which Loki liked to occupy. Usually, they would find him reading a book, and so fast that Tony was sure that Loki had already read his way through an entire library. The god of mischief did not even bat a lash at the names Tony had dropped. Teasing Loki always felt a bit like forlorn effort, mainly because he refused to react in the way Tony would like him to react sometimes.

"I have nothing to say to my brother." Loki replied as calmly as a Buddhist Monk as he turned the Page, although they both knew that it was never a good sign when Thor would suddenly become " _my brother"_ in one of Loki's sentences. That was one thing Tony actually really liked about Loki. His words had meaning to them and he chose them with great care and a certain feel towards a certain situation. He was not like Thor who would say things just how he felt them, he crafted what he was saying, he thought about it in great detail - and apparently, he liked to differentiate between Thor as his _brother_ and Thor as his lover, no matter how weird that was for someone like Tony.

"But you are aware that he can't just give you what you want and remove the bracelets, right?"

This time, Loki did look at him at least and for a brief little moment. Tony was sure that the trickster did not need his magic to curse him, as Loki's green eyes fell upon him. In his eyes was all the venom that he needed, as he snarled at Tony, looking just as explosive as a bomb underneath Time's Square.

"I will not go back to Asgard like this because if I do I will be dragged in front of Odin as a prisoner and traitor and not as the king I should be." Loki snarled as he shut his book as sharply as he could.

"But you are a prisoner and a traitor." Steve’s voice was calm and yet his unexpected apparition came as such a surprise to Tony that he almost jumped - Loki not so much. Surely he had seen him approach behind Tony already. Fucking prick. Judging by Loki's face, however, he was just one word away from throwing his book at them. Cap seemed unaware of the danger, as Tony turned and looked at him before he threw up his hands in defeat. "Settle this between you, girls, but Cap: Manhattan will experience a flood if Loki doesn't talk to Pikachu soon."

He couldn't say that he felt great as he left Steve behind like this with the task at hand, but he felt as if Steve would very well be able to handle Loki - if anyone except Thor would be able to do just that anyway.

 

※※※※※

 

The night when Loki had come to his room and joined him in bed was still vivid in Thor's mind. He could still smell him on his pillow and he could still feel his silky black hair between his fingers, feel his breath against his neck and the way he had curled in on himself in Thor's arms, just the way he had always used to do, even when they had been children still and Loki scared by a _demon_ underneath his bed. As a child Thor had laughed about those fears of his brother, now as an adult and after everything that had happened, he thought that Loki might have really been tormented by a demon for all his life.

This particular situation was now five days in the past, almost one entire Midgardian week, and since then he felt like what Tony called a _lovesick teenager_ (whatever that meant), but of course it was not that easy. Since that night Loki had gone back to his usual distanced self - at least concerning Thor. He had been naïve enough to believe that Loki and he had made progress in those precious moments they had spent together, but as soon as the sun had risen, Thor had been hit in the face with reality. If Thor was the sun, Loki was the moon and although they were close together it seemed he could never truly reach him or hold him close.

"Maybe thinking that he and I could one day be united as the rulers of Asgard was a mistake. Loki would call me naive." He mused. But maybe the sun just was not supposed to keep the moon by its side. Maybe it was not even fair to dream of this. He wanted Loki free and happy, but those were just a different kind of shackles he wanted to force upon Loki. He was heat and energy, Loki was ice and poison. It was not logical to think that they could truly be happy one day. Tony cleared his throat as he sat down on the large black sofa in the lobby and handed him one of the two thick Whiskey glasses that he picked up from the elegant little bar close to the window overlooking Manhattan. Thor came to like Whiskey by now and he enjoyed the sound of rain splattering against the large windows of the tower too.

"I don't get why that's so big of a mistake." Tony stated, slumping down beside him. "It's only natural that you want to be with the person you love. True, you guys couldn't be more different, but it's without question that you love one another, so why shouldn't you be united? A royal wedding, what could be more exciting?" He laughed at last.

Thor took a sip before he answered and as he did, he was careful how to do it. "The Allfather would need to agree on it first." He began. "And there are still several problems in the way. Loki and I were raised as brothers and most of Asgard thinks that we are indeed brothers, while everyone who knows the truth thinks him a monster. Asgard has never had a royal couple of the same sex and even though we can reproduce, it is still something most will frown upon. Loki has never been as accepted in Asgard as I was as if they all knew in their hearts that he is not one of us. Then there is the fact that Loki has committed terrible crimes, even though he was forced by Thanos, as he claims. It is true, that my father wanted us to be united in marriage originally, to force peace between the Jotun and us with Loki as the crown prince of Jotunheim, but now that is only one more reason why this unit could be dangerous for Asgard, not to speak of how dangerous it could be for Loki and our child."

He watched how Tony gently shook his glass and watched the amber colored liquid swirl around for a moment before he answered Thor. "Because of that new king of theirs."

"A thief, nothing more. A thief who stole Loki's Throne - but yes."

"But why is this so dangerous? He had his fun, so why not ignore Loki and rule over Jotunheim from now on?"

"Jotunheim lies in ruins since the war. We still have the casket of ancient winters in our possession in Asgard, locked away safely so that the Jotun can never reach this realm again. Father wanted to give it back to Loki when we would be wed and he crowned king over Jotunheim. The Jotun are suffering without the casket and Loki would be able to bring back prosperity to the realm and to have that, the Jotun would kill their new king in a heartbeat. Loki means danger to him and his rule, that's one reason why he kidnapped him. And now Loki and I have a child, a son, an heir to both realms…" Thor ended with a dark glare out of the window and another lightning bolt crashed into the roof of a nearby building. He could feel the tingle in his fingertips, the electricity surging through his veins by the mere thought of Loki or their son getting hurt again by those _creatures_.

"Do you expect him to attack?" The question in itself was reasonable and of course, it had to be asked sooner or later, but Thor was still wary of an answer. Truth was, that he did not like to think about the conflict that was about to come, no matter what they would decide to do.

"Yes, sooner or later. But even if he won't attack us - _we_ will, _I_ will because if I don't, Loki and our son will never be safe."

 

※※※※※

 

"You know, Thor would probably give you everything you ask for if it's in his power to give to you." Steve seemed more than uncomfortable talking to Loki like this. It would be cute, were the circumstances any different. "But you know also that he cannot go against your father's orders."

"He is not my father." Loki was quick to remind the good old captain.

"Yes, you made this very clear by now - to everybody. But what I don’t understand is why you are avoiding Thor like the plague at the moment. Really, these bracelets are just a petty excuse, aren't they?"

Other unwelcome visitors would have maybe taken a seat by now, but Steve remained ever the old-fashioned gentleman and rather stood near the window to look over the city down there after he had bridged the distance between Loki and the door. Loki would lie if he would say that Steve wasn't a handsome man, and not by a long shot he was as dull and stupid as some might say. Still, it was odd to see him in simple Midgardian fashion - jeans and a navy blue shirt as opposed to his fancy little costume. Loki huffed as he looked out the window for a moment to watch how the raindrops were still smashing against the glass and down on the streets below.

A part of him found joy at how easy it was for him to get Thor in such bad of a mood. "I don't think I want to discuss such private matters with you." Loki then replied as coldly as he possibly could.

"I think you are afraid, that you could lose Thor and your son when you go back to Asgard, that is why you look for a reason to argue with Thor at all costs. You want an easy way out. And if Thor would free you from those bracelets, there would be no reason for you not to flee with your child."

There was no accusation in his tone, but still, he managed to get what he wanted out of Loki and the trickster knew that his reaction had been what Steve had desired. Still, he chose to play along. "I don't want an easy way out. I want to make it easier for Thor. He is too naive to see that there is no way he could be happy with me. It's time to stop fooling around. He should marry a suitable woman and do what is expected of him. I was never accepted in Asgard as a prince, so why should I be accepted as a consort to the future king? Our father would never allow it anyway. And our son will never be accepted too."

Steve was silent for a moment before he spoke up again. "Thor told us, that you had kids before. What happened to them?"

This was not a topic he liked to discuss normally, but now he saw no reason why he should not. He was not the biggest fan of Steve, but he was the most trustworthy of the bunch by a long shot. "They died." He replied and saw pity in Steve's azure blue eyes immediately and pity was the last thing the proud god of lies and chaos wanted to see in anybody's eyes. "This is my first living child. I was never able to produce strong enough children. Maybe it was for the better. I wouldn't have been able to keep them anyway and to be honest, I wouldn’t have wanted them too. All of this has been kept a secret to not disgrace our family."

"This must have been horrible." He could not even tell if Steve was feigning compassion, but since he knew the famous Captain America for a little while now, he imagined he must be honest.

"It was, but I had Thor and he helped me to forget. I was too young anyway. Father always scolded me that I needed to be more careful, that I could die next time."

"It's hardly your fault." Steve frowned, but Loki laughed sharp and bitter because he simply did not know better. Bitterness was his modus operandi when nothing else seemed to work in a situation.

"Oh, but it was. I thought I was strong enough to fight off everyone who wanted to come too close to me, but of course, I was not. I made the same mistakes again and again. I disgraced my family as the royal whore that couldn't keep his legs closed. Those who knew blamed me, of course. I should not have gone on a walk alone, I should not have run away from home, I should not have bathed in the lake alone… The only one who has never blamed me or forced me to do anything was Thor and for that I loved him, but that's hardly enough of a foundation. I will never make him happy and we both know this. But he thinks he just needs to hold my hand and whisper soothing words in my ears to change that. I am like the moon and he is like the sun, there is just no way we could stay together." His eyes were drawn to the shimmering, golden bracelets around his wrists once again like they were so often since he arrived at this place and found time to really think about them. During his imprisonment he had only cursed them, now he feared what could become if they were taken from him. "Unleashed I only bring death and destruction. My magic is poisonous for everyone around me. There is no life and light where I go."

"But you created life." Steve smiled as he pointed to the babe. "Together with Thor. Maybe the moon needs the sun to create life."

Much later that very same day, Loki found Thor and their son in the living room of the tower. Natasha had busied him with baking cookies for quite some time and he still had one in his hand as he walked into the living room. It was quite weird that he, the famous Loki of Asg- _Jotunheim_ , would find himself baking cookies with one of the most deadly assassins and double agents of this realm as if it was the most normal thing to do for them both on a rainy afternoon. As Thor's gaze fell upon him, he wanted to shrink back immediately, but he decided that he was not a mouse but still a cat.

Thor looked like everything he had ever desired, as he lay there on his back with their son on his chest sleeping peacefully, despite the roaring thunder outside. This thought frightened Loki more than he was willing to say. Still, he bridged the distance between them and shoved the cookie in Thor's mouth before the god of thunder could say anything at all.

"Do you know what kept me alive in Jotunheim?" Thor grunted as he bit down on the cookie and emptied his mouth slowly before he spoke. "Let me guess: Your never ceasing thirst for revenge? The baby? Hoping that someday you would crush the false king's heart?" He sighed and Loki missed his stupid smile already.

"Well, _yes_ … but what kept me going, for the most part, was you, you big oaf." He was quite proud that he was able to state such things without even blushing. It was Thor who stared at him in awe, reminding him very much on one of those big yellow dogs with the floppy fluffy ears he had seen on TV before (the mortals seemed to be quite fond of this particular breed for some reason and Loki started to get why that was). If it was not for their son on his chest, he would have probably already jumped Loki to lift him off his feet and smother him with kisses, after this little confession out of the mouth of the trickster. Instead, it was Loki who lowered himself to the ground next to Thor despite the pain he still suffered, to plant a gentle kiss to his right eyebrow, while in the background the TV was still on and producing noise. For once, Thor seemed flabbergasted and - which was most welcome - silent. "No matter what they did to me or how bad the torture got, even as I couldn't remember my own name any longer, the thought of seeing you one more time and giving our son to you was what kept me going." He quietly continued as he could feel Thor's hands in his long hair. "And now I am here with you again and all I do is hurt you and stray from your side like an ungrateful cat that only ever comes home to its owner to get food."

He expected to hear something like _"It's alright_ " from Thor like his stupid not-brother so often said, always the forgiving one of them. Instead, Thor sat up - carefully not to wake their son - before he coaxed Loki to sit beside him with a gesture of one of his large calloused hands. "Then why are you doing this?" He asked in a calm voice, but Loki was aware that Thor was not going to blindly forgive him this time around if he would just say _sorry_ like he did countless times before in the past centuries. He wanted an explanation after everything they've been through and he deserved one. Thor slowly became the king he was supposed to be and Loki could not deny that he was proud seeing this development.

"I was afraid. When we go home, I will be trialed for the crimes I committed - as I should be - and I will be thrown into the dungeons - as I should be. There is no way Odin will allow us to stay together. I won't be there to see our son grow, I won't be there to be at your side when you are crowned king and you will find a more suitable partner. And the saddest part is, that I just don't deserve otherwise. If I was Odin, I wouldn’t show any mercy to me at all, because I don’t deserve mercy for everything I've done - forced or not. I allowed this to happen. It's my fault because little Loki just wanted more than he could stomach. I continuously make the same mistakes over and over again. And I don't want you to suffer because of my mistakes. I don't want to disgrace you or our son."

"Little Loki is always thinking." Thor hummed. "Little Loki always ponders about the _what ifs_ , instead of just trying and living without fear." Before Loki could even try to get away, Thor curled his arm around his shoulders and pulled him so close that Loki had no other choice than to rest his head on his shoulder. "You are much smarter than I am, Loki. How could I rule without you by my side to advise me? You always wanted to be my equal and even though in my eyes you always were, I do understand how you have been made to feel. Come back as my equal now, as my husband, as my _queen_ if you will, and as my advisor most importantly. I would never trust anyone but you to help me rule over Asgard as the king I am supposed to be."

Loki was silent for a moment and just breathed in his brother's scent. He thought about their first night together and did not even know why all of the sudden. He thought about the night Thor came to his chambers. It had not been long after Loki's last failed pregnancy, the child of a man he did not even know the name of, the child of a man who had shoved him into the muddy river bank and nearly drowned him in the process. Nobody had listened to him as he had come back home days later beaten and injured. Only Thor had been foaming with rage, eager to find whoever it was who had done this to his little brother. He had still been weak as Thor had come to him, but he had been relieved to have him at his side even though he had done his best to act otherwise. Thor, however, had never shied away from him, no matter how much Loki had bared his teeth and hissed at him. Thor had just taken him in his strong arms, two boys, not even near adulthood yet, intertwined in a loving embrace. The embrace of his brother had lead to their first kiss and even though Loki had been mortified at first, their kiss had soon turned to more and there was not one single memory he held more dear to his heart. He had never been touched with that much love and gentleness, he only knew brute force from strangers who had taken the opportunity little Loki had given them, too proud for his own good and naïve enough to think he could handle them.

"You are so naive, Thor. Your friends would call you a fool for trusting me of all people and I cannot say if I would agree with them on that or not, as rarely as it might be." Loki finally answered.

"So… will you come home with me?" Thor prodded further as he combed his fingers through Loki's hair.

He did not know what to say, but seeing the hope in those azure blue eyes would not leave him any other choice than this: "Yes. Let's go home."


	7. Chapter 7

There were many things that could very well go wrong in going back to Asgard and, of course, at least Loki was quite aware of this. His brother, on the other hand, seemed not to fully grasp what dangers were lying ahead of them, let alone the severity of the situation they were in. Maybe he was worrying too much – or at least that was what Thor accused him of most of the time when the brute would find him lost in thought. It was an opinion Thor shared with at least Tony and Steve to a degree, while Natasha seemed to understand what was going on in Loki's mind at all times. Well, she was, after all, a double agent and getting into the headspace of other people somewhat of her forte.

"You should sleep. Why are you never sleeping?" Thor's voice was deep and hoarse from his slumber, but his fingers were gentle as they were brushing through Loki's long hair. He had not even noticed that his lover was awake again. Maybe he would pay for his lack of attention at one point in his life.

"I thought about a name for our son." Loki lied and did not even find it hard to do so. Maybe lying was by now so deeply ingrained in his personality, that he would have a hard time telling the truth instead.

"Oh?" Thor hummed and came so close, that Loki could feel the tickle of his stubbles against his own smooth jaw, a feeling he had always quite liked, even though he would say something else if he was asked.

"What about Magni?"

"The strong?" Thor replied. "I like it." Of course, he did. Loki could hardly hide a smile at this thought. Thor was still as easily fooled as always. It was easy to look right through him and tell what he was thinking or what he would like to hear – or at least it was for Loki, but then again Loki knew him probably better than anyone else.

"I thought you would." Loki grinned sheepishly as he turned on his back so he could face his stupid brother. Thor took the change of position to prop himself up on his right arm, his eyes never leaving Loki's face. "It’s a good name for a future king, I thought." Even though he still did not know if his son would someday sit on the throne like his father and grandfather before him. Hell, he could not even tell if Thor would sit on the throne himself after everything that had happened lately. What if Odin would banish him for sleeping with his brother? For sleeping with a frost giant? He could hardly even tell which was worse.

Thor, however, did not seem bothered by those worries in his brother's head, as he gently cupped his face with his free hand. Loki had always loved those big paws his brother possessed. His own hands were slender in comparison. He had long fingers and his hands were not made to punch people, that much was certain. Thor had once said that he saw Loki as something very filigree, something very delicate he could protect and cherish and that he had always loved that contrast between them. Maybe Loki was the fool in their relationship. He should have known all his life that he was not Thor's real brother. After all, no one in his family looked like him. And yet he had never seen it while around him probably everyone had already known. And after Loki had finally learned the truth not so very long ago, all the gossip about him, all the conversations in hushed voices when he would walk by, finally had made sense to him. Maybe Thor had always been the only one who had never minded. Thor had always been the one person to love him unconditionally. He would even love him with blue skin and horns.

"You know me too well." Thor hummed before he leaned down to steal a kiss from him.

"You are not hard to read, you oaf." A faint chuckle escaped his lips and it felt like the first time in ages, that he found even the strength to do so. He still had nightmares and his fear of going back home did not help in that regard.

"Are you nervous to go back home?" Thor asked, but his face already told Loki that he knew the answer very well, so instead of giving it to him, Loki found himself shoving Thor back on his back and crawling above him.

"I don’t want to talk." Loki hummed as he himself leaned down to kiss his lover once more. It was true, he did not want to talk about it. He wanted to enjoy the last bit of freedom he had before he would be in chains again and rot in a cell for the rest of his life because he already knew that this was what was going to happen and strangely enough, he did not feel the need to escape any longer. As long as he was in prison in Asgard, he was at least close to Thor and close to their son. He knew Thor would make sure that he would have it good in the dungeons and that he would have a good life down there.

For just a second he stopped at this thought and straightened his back again to look down on Thor and into his ridiculously blue eyes. This thought process was not at all like him. The old Loki would have never just resigned and lived with sitting in a dingy dungeon for the rest of his life, no matter how nice the cell might be. No matter that he was not the son of Odin, he was a prince, he was born to be king, though not of Asgard as he had thought in his younger years. He should fight for his throne, shouldn’t he? It was his birthright to rule – but if he was honest with himself, he never really wanted to rule. He just thought that this was what he desired.

Thor laid his hands on his hips, stroking his thumbs over Loki's naked skin, his eyes resting on his face above him. It was impossible to say what the brute was thinking, even though Loki had bragged about how easy it was to tell what was on Thor's mind before. It was not easy at all, but maybe this was because Loki always wanted to see bad intentions in everyone's actions. Thor had no bad intentions, ever. But to Loki, this was so hard to believe.

"Let's enjoy our last night on Midgard." He quietly murmured and Thor grinned at this. He would not say they should enjoy their last night together because Thor would beg to differ and then they would start arguing again. He was done arguing. He just wanted Thor. He just wanted that Thor would banish every stupid little thought out of Loki's mind. He wanted to be devoured fully.

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Most of their trysts in the past had been rushed and hard and quick because of the constant danger of being caught. Thor had always been a passionate lover and once he started going, he was hard to stop. He knew this himself. However now, in this instant, Thor took his time, after all, they had the whole night ahead of them still. Sitting up, he rested his back against the headboard of the bed and started kissing his way down the path of sensitive skin of Loki's throat, grazing the perfect curve of his collarbone with his teeth. The low growl Loki produced made him chuckle quietly against that perfectly smooth skin. He loved those little sounds escaping from Loki's throat and how his back was arching ever so gently as Thor's mouth continued down-down-down his throat and later his body, after Thor pushed his lover down on the back again, his tongue and lips and teeth devouring every valley and every rising of the muscles of his abdomen and his perfect chest. His lips grazed over scars, some fresh, some old but he tended to every little one of them, searching for everything that was maybe different from what he was used to on Loki's lanky body and found nothing, only shadows of the past nightmares he had gone through on Jotunheim. Every scar Thor found, only managed to fuel his rage and his want to go into battle with the remaining Jotun. He would kill all of them, he would destroy the entire realm if that meant Loki was safe from harm forever.

Lower and lower his mouth went and he enjoyed feeling and hearing Loki holding his breath in anticipation of Thor's tongue moving to where he really wanted it only so he could jerk in surprise and mutter a sweet little curse as a teasing nip was delivered to his inner thigh. Thor could not help it. He loved how Loki's long legs felt and how they tasted. His right hand already forcefully gripped his right thigh to lift the beautifully shaped leg above his own naked shoulder and when he moved closer to the body so openly welcoming him, he could feel how Loki's heel dug into his shoulder blade to draw him closer-closer-closer to lure him into pleasure, instead Thor bit down on the tender flesh of his inner thigh once more.

"Thor-" He tried to protest, but the deep moan escaping his scarred lips stopped him instantly, engulfed in the feeling of the open-mouthed, sloppy kisses, which Thor used to cover the pale skin of the Jotun beneath him. " _Please_ -" Loki tried once more only to gasp loudly, his head falling back onto Thor's pillow as his lover's mouth finally engulfed his aching arousal, silken heat, and licentious pleasure. He could feel Loki fight to hold still, to control his revolting body, but he could also feel how his efforts became an increasingly difficult struggle against his own inner demons as Thor slyly applied his tongue along the ridge of his cock, following it with the slightest, the gentlest, the most careful scraping of teeth over silk.

It became quite obvious that Loki could not resist bucking into his mouth, his left hand reaching down to tangle his delicate long fingers in Thor's blonde mane and pull it roughly, causing Thor to growl deep in his throat, but neither loosened Loki his grip, nor did he let him go, but when Thor glanced up a little he devoured the sight of him biting his bottom lip only to contain his moans as he finally gave up and decided to let the sensations consume him. The only thing that mattered was the feeling of the pressure building rapidly inside Loki, winding tighter and tighter and tighter, his fingers clutching Thor's hair harder in a silent warning of what was soon to come.

Thor understood and Loki did not need to spell it out for him, but he continued the wicked machinations of his mouth anyway, until he heard that lovely breathless cry, he loved so much and had yearned for, for such a long time since Loki had vanished from his side, when Loki finally came, his spine suddenly curving upwards in his release.

Thor sat up; licking his lips absently to not waste a single drop of what Loki had offered him after he swallowed thickly. He was still painfully aroused himself when he crawled back up to kiss the man lying exhausted underneath him, but the moment his sneaky fingers tried to grab for the blanket to throw it over them and distract him with his full mouthed kiss, Loki groaned and pushed him back almost violently.

Thor and Loki had often trained together in their youth. He was aware of Loki's strength - or lack thereof in comparison to him. Yet he was surprised once again over the power Loki possessed all of the sudden.

Thor had no chance to get up fast enough after he landed on his back and almost hit his head on the edge of the nightstand until Loki was on top of him once again. "Let me take care of you." Loki commanded with this smug yet playful little grin of his plastered on his face, all pearly white teeth, even though he still was a bit breathless from his recent orgasm – not that it would be the first today, and most certainly not the last either.

Thor could not help but grin and bite his bottom lip when he cushioned his head on his right arm, feeling the hot groin of the younger male brushing over his own stone hard cock when Loki reached out for the nightstand and the oil still standing there from previous activities. Outside thunder was growling and rain starting to drip louder against the windows as Loki's long toes dug into the mattress beneath Thor.  His moan was husky with suppressed desire, when he watched Loki preparing himself with the oil they kept next to their bed (hidden most times, so nosy Avengers would not find it), his own slick fingers disappearing intriguing again and again until he was satisfied. He did not do it because he really needed to, after all, they had had sex not even two hours ago, he only did it to drive Thor mad, to make him moan and writhe in pleasure without even touching him. Oh, that little witch knew exactly what he was doing and that Thor was watching his skilled fingers preparing himself, working him open for him. Loki liked to tease him, liked to shudder in fear of his big, enormous cock only to entice him. Yet, Thor was unable to look away, even more so when Loki finally sank down onto Thor's impatiently waiting cock with a satisfied grunt, his eyes fluttering shut.

Thor rocked his own hips to meet him, his hands settling on Loki's waist to steady him as he took his cock deeper and deeper inside him. It was quite hard not to use too much pressure on Loki and every time he did, he was afraid he could hurt him. it was almost impossible to concentrate on not grabbing him too hard by his hips, especially as Loki then decided he was comfortable enough and started to ride him, panting as he enjoyed the sweet pain and the little burn of Thor's thick cock plunging into him, ripping him open and filling him to his desire.

Their hips rolled together, synchronized in mutual pleasure. Loki's short nails dug into the flesh of Thor's flat stomach, into his muscles while he steadied himself to fasten his pace, moaning as if the last time he had had sex laid back ages. It wasn’t long until Thor couldn’t stand it anymore, the sensation of Loki's body welcoming his, the sight of Loki's naked body on top of him, his skin glistening with little drops of sweat in the darkness – close enough that Thor could easily count each and every little one of them – the sound of those deep immoral moans coming from the deep of Loki's throat, and when he finally lost it and came deeply engulfed inside his lover Loki continued to ride him through his orgasm, as he was being filled with Thor's release, some of it lazily dripping down those beautiful thighs.

As the moment of their departure from Midgard came, Thor felt uneasy and even a little sad that they could not stay here for a little while longer. It was rare that he felt scared or the sting of uncertainty, but now he did. As he looked at Loki dressed in simple Midgardian clothes with their son sleeping in his arms and his hair tied together loosely, he did not know what would happen to them as soon as they would set foot on Asgard. He had promised Loki to protect him at all costs. He had promised to protect their son at all cost. But what if they would be greeted by guards that would be waiting for them to enchain him once again? He would not been able to do anything about this if it was his father's wish to have Loki in chains once again, right? Here on Midgard, his father's law was no meaning, but in their realm, Thor was only the crown prince and not the king yet himself. He had to listen to his father and follow his rules, otherwise, he would get punished too.

And yet, if his father's rules would mean for him to live without Loki and their son, wouldn’t that be the greater punishment? He would be willing to accept being exiled with them instead of living in Asgard and becoming king and be without them for the rest of his life. Oh, how un-kingly to think for him. As a king, the wellbeing of his subordinates and the safety of the nine realms were his only worry. His father had always made in undoubtedly clear that the duty as king would always come first and yet Thor did not know if he could follow his example if it would ever come to this.

"I thank you for your hospitality, Tony." Thor boomed as they stood outside on the large balcony. He would only need to call Heimdall to be sent back home, but it had never felt harder to speak the words so he much rather would not like to do it anyway.

"No big deal, big guy." Tony grinned. They had said their goodbyes to the Captain and Natasha already during breakfast because the two of them had been sent out on a mission and since they did not want Fury or anyone else to get nervous and come looking, they had been off right away. "You are welcome to come back as often as you like."

Loki produced a small snort and rolled his green eyes as this comment from the inventor. "You are such a slimeball, Stark." He grinned and looked a little more like his old self as he was showing off his perfectly pearl white teeth at Tony. They were much like cats these two, provoking each other, but never meaning serious danger to each other in their little games – well, at least not anymore as it seemed.

"Oh, forgive me, princess. Of course, you are always welcome too, my lady. Only say one word so that my staff can fluff up your pillows before your arrival." Tony even made a small bow in Loki's direction as Thor flung his left arm around his lover and child and finally called for Heimdall.

The way back to Asgard was quick as always, just a rush of colors and sensations and light, before suddenly they were back home. Loki swayed a little as they got ground under their feet again, but Thor was quick to help him to stay on his long legs. Even after a few weeks in the care of the Avengers Loki had not yet found back to his old strength again and the torture he had suffered through was still taking its toll on his body. That he was not in possession of his full magical powers was only adding to the discomfort he was suffering.

"Welcome back." Heimdall said, his voice deep as roaring thunder as he stared at him with his golden eyes. Sometimes Thor wondered what it must feel like to be in Heimdall's position and what things he might be seeing all the time. That he had not been able to find Loki for a year was unusual, but Thor had never wanted to ask him any more details. Maybe he was afraid what he would get to hear otherwise. Maybe he was worried even that Heimdall had known where Loki had been all along. However, in the same instant, he doubted that Heimdall would ever betray him or his family like this. After all, it had not just been Thor who had been searching for his brother.

"Thank you, my friend." Thor replied quickly as he shortly glanced at him, but then averted his attention back to Loki who was slightly clinging to his forearm to regain control of his senses and balance as it appeared in the way he was blinking. It did not take long for Thor to notice that this was not the reason for Loki's clinging, as he finally noticed the group of Asgardian guards standing by the entrance to the great chamber that was Heimdall's lair. The sunlight was bouncing off their golden armor warmly, but their faces were set in stone, unmoving and unflinching by the sight of the two Asgardian princes in front of them.

To his great relief, after a second, a familiar face was shoving the guards aside and moving inside the chamber. Fandral was his usual, dashing self as he smiled widely at the two brothers and made a courteous but rather funny looking bow. "Great to see that you’ve come back from your little holiday, my friend. Your father has been waiting and as we all know it is not wise to let him wait." Fandral grinned but openly ignored Loki's presence for now, before Magni produced a small sound and attracted Fandral's attention.

"And I see the princess is back too. Wonderful." Fandral and Loki had never been friends – Well, Loki had never been friends with really anyone. Sadly, the warriors three had always openly shown their distrust and aversion of Loki, except Hogun maybe. Sif absolutely despised Loki, although Thor had always hoped to have his little brother accepted by his friends but since that had never worked out due to Loki's tendency to play pranks on them (like the one time he had cut Sif's hair off or made Volstagg's skin turn blue), he had always needed to decide between the two.

To everyone's surprise, Loki did not say anything about this open attack on him. It seemed he had learned his lesson, but Thor did not like that development. He liked Loki being big mouthy and aggressive and he would much rather never remember the way he had looked as Thor had found him on the balcony with his lips sewn shut and blood clogged between the threads. It was his only wish to make him feel safe at his side and that he could openly speak his mind. Now, however, Loki openly stared at the blonde knight in anger. "And he even brought a little surprise as I see. I wonder where he has found this child or is it yours, Loki?" The tone of Fandral's voice made him boil inside with anger. He liked Fandral a lot and he was always fond of his bubbly nature, what he did not like were the jibes he would make at Loki's expense. In the past, Thor had more than once got in a fight with Fandral when his friend had called Loki nasty names or even when he would say the things others had said about the young prince.

"It is my child." Thor immediately cut off Fandral as he pulled Loki tighter towards his side, yet again sneaking his arm around his narrow shoulders.

"Oh, excellent!" Fandral chirped. "I didn't know that you had a mortal woman-"

"It is _our_ child." He said before Fandral could do or say something else to anger him. The last thing he wanted was to be angry with his friends now after everything that had happened. "And you would do better showing Loki a little more respect."

"Thor, you are aware that he is a criminal, aren’t you?" Fandral asked, his voice lowered as if they were discussing some kind of secret that no one should ever hear. Only faintly Thor noticed how Loki leaned his head against his shoulder, which was an unusual gesture for the younger prince. Usually, Loki was not the type to show affection around others, now, however, he leaned in closer and though Thor heard him mumble something, he could not understand the words. For just a second he wondered if this was all but an act to lure Thor into protecting him.

"I am aware of that and he will be trialed by the Allfather as soon as we are back in the palace, but he is also your prince and as such he deserves to be treated with respect." Loki leaned in even closer this time, one hand  gently grabbing for Thor's left arm and his slender fingers curling into the fabric of his vibrant red cape.

"My prince!" Fandral snorted. "He is a frost giant, Thor! He is not even an Aesir, so why should I respect him as our prince? Did you forget what he has done? Did you forget how he managed to get you exiled and climbed the throne after nearly killing your father? Did you forget what he did on Midgard? The havoc he brought? Or did he just need to let you fuck him for you to forget all of this?"

If it weren't for Loki clinging to him Thor would have jumped Fandral, but just as he opened his mouth to shout his proper response, a weight seemed to drag him down at his left side and before he knew it Loki slumped to the floor, their babe wrapped in his arm protectively and close to his chest just the way he had held him as Thor had found him.


	8. Chapter 8

It felt as if for years the palace had not been filled with laughter and light as it was now. The situation might not be ideal, but as Frigga opened the door to her youngest son's bedchamber and had a look inside, she could not help but feel relief washing over her. One year had passed since Loki had vanished and for even longer than this she had not seen him. There were many things she wanted to tell him, many ways she wanted to teach him how he had messed things up in the past, but for now seeing him again was more than enough to let her smile. She might not be his real mother, she might not have given birth to him, but she loved him nonetheless as if he was her own son.

The truth was, there had been times when she had almost forgotten that he was not her real son. Odin and Thor were so much alike, they were both so incredibly headstrong and fierce warriors they were too -  Loki however, had always been different and something she could almost have to her own. Loki had soaked everything up she had offered him to learn and even excelled in magic, as was rare for Asgardian men. He had been her son through and through. And now he was back, lying on his big bed after Thor had finally brought him home after so much time. His long black mane was flowing over the white bed sheets and his big pillows, and his skin was as pale as she remembered it, though adorned with a few more scars than before.

For a moment, she just stood and watched how Loki's chest rose and fell ever so slightly before she finally entered the room and bridged the distance between her and her son. The fragile silver bracelets he had been given to bind his magic were still attached to his thin wrists and shimmering in the sunlight coming through the large windows of his bedroom. He was still fast asleep and Frigga would probably never forget the image as her oldest son had brought in Loki, carrying him in his strong arms as if he was as light as a feather and later Frigga had seen why he had had no problems to carry him too. Loki was thin as a stick. He had always been thin, always been a little more fragile, but never weak like this. His body had been starved and even though Thor's friends had apparently taken good care of him, he was still not back to his usual self.

Out of her worry about her son, she had almost not even registered the baby that Fandral had carried with him, but Thor had been quick to grab it from his friend the moment Loki had been in the hands of their healers. As Frigga sat down on the bed and brushed her fingers through Loki's silken black hair, she noticed with a frown the heavy chain that was attached to Loki's left ankle, binding him to the bed post so that he could not attempt to escape justice once again. It was her husband's order to do so and guards were standing in front of Loki's door to make sure that the prince would stay where he was because not even Loki was insane enough to throw himself out of the window.

As Loki stirred in bed at her touch, she only laid her hand on his cheek and rubbed soothing little circles with her thumb on his pale skin. A little she felt as if she had never seen Loki before, although he had not changed as much. His features seemed a little softer somehow, he seemed more androgynous, but then again he always had looked like this. She could still see the slowly healing wounds around his mouth where it had been sewn shut and felt horror washing over her motherly heart imagining the pain and suffering Loki had gone through.

He had done many horrible things and he deserved punishment for these, but torture was something she had never understood. There was no gain in torturing people and in the end, the torturers themselves became nothing more than monsters.

With a small sound escaping Loki's lips, his eyes flew open and as he looked around wide-eyed and wild in fear, Frigga caught his face in both of her hands and forced him to look just at her. Loki had always been a child haunted by nightmares and horrible terrors. He had not needed to first hit adolescence and witness what gruesome things could happen to someone if they were not fit to protect themselves to be haunted. Many nights she had found herself sitting by his bedside and soothing her little raven haired beauty and many more nights when she would have found Thor lying beside his baby brother to protect him from the monster under his bed. Fewer times than she would have liked, Loki had been allowed to her and Odin's bed after the little prince had been running barefooted and in panic through the large corridors of the palace.

And even now after so many years and after Loki was considered one of the most dangerous beings in all of Asgard or even the nine realms as a whole, he began to calm down just by his mother's touch.

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Usually, Thor felt more at ease when he was home in Asgard and roaming the palace, but that could not be said for today, as he stood in the throne room with his son in his arms and his little fingers curling into Thor's cape. Since he had arrived back in Asgard and had given Loki into the care of his mother and the healers, numerous times nurses had wanted to take the baby from him to take care of it as it was the custom in a royal household. Thor, however, had fought them all off. As long as he did not know the status of Loki or what was going to happen to him, he would not let his son out of his eyes. Of course, he knew that no one here would harm his son, but he still could not bring himself to let someone else take him.

His mother had assured him that Loki was going to be alright again, but that he was simply too weak and that the travel via Bifröst had put too much strain on his body. Of course, Thor cursed himself for his collapse, after all, he could have told his father that they would stay on Midgard until Loki would be fully healed and strong enough. Maybe he had strained him too much last night before this travel. He should have known better, but then again, he had not known if he would be able to spend another night with his lover as soon as they would be back on Asgard.

He felt his father's eye drilling holes into his back as he stood near the large windows and had a look outside and onto the city with Magni squirming in his arms, desperate to see some of the beauty outside. He was a strong willed little man, that much was clear and Thor often found himself wondering how Magni would turn out to be. Would he look more like him or would he look like Loki? If he would just get a hint of the intelligence and talents Loki possessed, he would truly be blessed and a great king for sure.

"I am sorry, father." Thor found himself mumbling as he brushed his thumb over Magni's little cheek and felt with wonder how his son closed his fingers around it in awe as he always did.

"For what?" His father sounded a lot calmer than Thor would have expected him to sound. Then again he did not quite know what he had expected. He himself had not committed a crime, after all. Well, except for the crime of sleeping with his own brother and siring a child with said brother.

"For everything." He sighed and turned around to face the king, but Odin just stood there, his arms crossed behind his back and his eye resting upon the baby for a moment. His father was a great king and he was a stern father. The punishments he and Loki had received in their youth had always been strict and often enough painful, but only because the king needed to portray an example at his own children so that no one would fall prey to the idea that he might be following a double standard. But overall his father had a warm heart and a soft spot for children, otherwise, he would have never brought Loki back to Asgard from Jotunheim in the first place. His father could have let him die in that temple, just as Laufey would have wanted him to. And no matter what his original idea had been as he had seen Loki for the first time, he had never told him about his true heritage because he had overthrown that original plan and that only because he had fallen in love with Loki just the way Thor and Frigga had fallen in love with Loki too the moment they had first seen him.

Thor had always felt a little like he was his father's favorite because they were so much alike and with Loki and Frigga it was the same, but looking back now, he could remember the many times he had seen Loki clinging to Odin, walking hand in hand with him through the palace or just sitting on his lap or beside him as he had been still so very small. Loki had always been someone appealing to the protective instincts in him and his father.

"He looks a lot like Loki, doesn’t he?" Thor hummed as he looked at his son again, maybe to brighten the mood even and for a moment he thought that he had succeeded, although he felt a little uncomfortable under his father's stare. Yes, their parents seemed to have been aware of his and Loki's relationship, but having the living proof of their sins now here with them felt odd.

"When Loki was as small as him, I was afraid I would crush him. He was tiny." Odin answered with a faint smile on his face and a little bit of sadness creeping into his eyes, though Thor wondered why that was. Was he already mourning Loki because he was going to sentence him to death? Or was he just sad because he had made so many mistakes that had only led to Loki becoming the person he was now? His father had often acted cruelly towards Loki after his brother had hit a certain age and became a little more problematic to handle, but Thor had never really questioned Odin's love for his little brother.

"What is going to happen now with him and Loki?" Thor finally asked. No matter how much he was dreading the answer he would get, he wanted to finally hear it and be done with it.

"Loki will be trialed as he should have been a year ago." Odin sighed and walked a few steps with Thor through the room. "He will be held responsible for the crimes he has committed on Midgard and the damage he has done to our realm before that."

"What will be his punishment?"

"Well, for crimes as heinous as his, death would be usually the punishment. But in light of recent events, I do not think that this might be the right solution. But the people will demand a punishment for his crimes and they do have the right to demand this. I cannot possibly let it look as though I would treat him differently than any other criminal brought before me just because he is my son." He continued with yet another sigh and for the first time in a long while, Thor saw how old his father had become. "Maybe exile would be the proper punishment."

※※※※※※※

His father did not visit him in his rooms since he had been brought back to Asgard by his brother. Loki could hardly remember anything after they had left Midgard, only that they had arrived back home and after that, it appeared as though he had passed out quite shortly afterward. Of course, his body was still frail and the journey was exhausting. But now he was home again and yet it did not feel like home at all anymore. He had not wanted to let go of his mother after he had woken up in his old bed with her by his side. Her touch was one of the things he had missed the most in the past year and in some of his darkest hours he had desired nothing more than having her by his side to soothe him as she had done when he had been a small child.

She had not been allowed back in his rooms after she had first left him a few hours later. They had talked about much in this time, but mainly how it could have come to all of this. He told her about Thanos and about the way he had controlled Loki to do the things he had done. Oh, it was true that Loki was not an innocent little angel. He was surely no hero either. He knew very well that he was a conniving bastard and everyone around him knew this too. Unlike Thor, who had not a bad bone in his body, Loki had.

But he was no monster either and he was not pure evil.

He had acted out of spite and rage and jealousy a first and then out of desperation because he had not had another chance.  And now he was chained to his very own bed with no way out and should suffer the punishment for the crimes that he had not even willingly committed – though he would maybe even admit that it had been great fun to scoop out the eye of that person on Midgard. He had liked the terror he had inflicted in this very moment. He had liked to be feared by a crowd of people just because he stole an eyeball and killed a few people. During the past years, even before the debacle on Jotunheim, Loki had felt those tendencies grow inside him and he had never quite understood them. Maybe it had all begun when he and Thor had been first on Jotunheim and when Loki had later been forced to kill for the first time. It had been the urge for revenge that had driven him to do the deed and kill Algrim and yet he had been horrified at his own action. After this event, nothing had been the same any longer. He had made great progress in his magical studies afterward, but for what price?

Maybe he had become tainted by that kill, but how and why he could not say. His brother had killed many more men than he, but maybe the difference was that his brother had killed them on the battlefield. Maybe this was different – but maybe it was because Loki had never actually liked violence. Mischief, yes. He was a great fan of that, but not exactly violence.

After his mother had left him, the only people he got to see were the servants who brought him something to eat and to drink for the rest of the day. Otherwise, Loki was left alone with his dark and gloomy thoughts just as he had been left alone back then after his first kill. But this time, oddly enough, the voices in his head finally were quiet and for once, he did not feel as if he was going completely insane.

Still, he felt uncertain about the fate he would be faced with. He did not expect mercy from his father, not after everything that had happened between them. But maybe he would at least been spared death and more torture. Maybe he would just be left alone in a cell with his greatest enemy.

As the next day came, his mother was finally allowed back inside the room, but there was no trace of Thor or his baby son and he fathomed that this was how it was going to be from now on. He would not see his son again and he would probably not see Thor again. But as long as Thor would raise their son good, Loki could perhaps live with it.

The next day also brought his trial and after his mother had helped him to get dressed, he looked at himself in the mirror for a moment. Wearing his green tunic he looked a little bit more like his old self again and wondered how people had not seen earlier that he indeed was the black sheep of the family. Just by looking at his clothes, the dark green fabrics he wore in his tunics or the black leather he wore as pants, it was unmistakably clear that he was the evil prince of the royal family.

"You look beautiful." His mother complimented him with a sly grin on her face as though she exactly knew what was going on in his head. "You look like the old Loki again."

"Then you should try to memorize how I look now because I doubt you will get to see me ever again after father has decided upon my fate." He snarled, but his mother only gently smacked his jaw before she adjusted his long hair and held him at arms lengths away from her to take it all in and make sure he was looking alright. She was after all still his mother and even the mother of a criminal was a mother – and what mother would want her baby to step in front of a judge not dressed up nicely?

"Shush, be quiet, Loki. Everything will be alright, I promise you."

"You cannot promise me what you cannot keep, mother. You told me that when I was little, though that would indeed explain from whom I got my tendency to lie in people's faces without even turning red. Well done, mother."

A knock on his door interrupted their little and long missed banter and shortly after the door opened without any one of them allowing it. It was Fandral who stepped inside and though he bowed for his queen, he did ignore Loki after he shortly glanced at him and his attire in the same miss demeaning manner as he had always done. "Loki's trial begins momentarily." He said directed at his mother and before one of them could make another move the guards from outside stepped inside, chains in their hands ready to enchain him once again like they did as Loki arrived one year ago.

He felt horror sweeping him off his feet as the guard with the chains stepped forward and he immediately took a step back, already looking for a way out. If he would get chained up again, what if something like last time would happen again? What if he would be dragged off yet another time? He had more than enough enemies that would want to get their hands on him! He could hardly think straight as the guard grabbed his wrist and out of sheer panic, Loki tried to pull free immediately. He had wanted to get it over with as civil as possible, but he had not expected chains again – oh how very foolishly of him.

"Loki!" He heard his mother shout as he fought against the guard, even though he was aware that it was fruitless and that he was only harming himself in fighting back. "Loki stop struggling, no one is going to harm you!" But he could hardly hear her over the sound of the chains. His struggle found its end on the floor, after the guard had all but tackled him to the ground – probably to the amusement of Fandral who just stood and watched in glee as Loki got his hands and feet bound with chains. The worst of all was the large metal ring around his neck and the long chain joining the chains of his feet and hands with the ring around his neck. He felt like a dangerous animal as he was pulled up to his feet a moment later. Of course, he had been kicking and thrashing as he was lying on the ground, but now, standing, he found himself shiver.

He was dragged out of his room as if he was just some peasant, as if he was not the prince of Asgard, as if he was not the rightful heir to the king of Jotunheim – well maybe that was the exact reason. By now surely everyone knew that he was a monster and that way he was treated.

Well, what exactly had he expected would happen anyway? His entire life he had been painfully aware that the people around him, with exception of his brother and parents perhaps, just waited for any opportunity to see him humiliated.

He staggered forward as someone pushed him, but he could hardly even think properly even. He could hear his mother shout something, but he had a hard time to understand any of the things happening around him. Only as the pulling and pushing finally stopped, he understood that it was thanks to his mother.

"He is your prince!" He heard her shout. "Show some respect!" But Loki somehow didn't want this. He did not want his mother to protect him and if they did not want to show respect to him, they shouldn't be forced by his mother of all people.

Still the sudden moment of fear left him paralyzed and his legs did not quite obey as he urged them forward one step at a time. The guards made him move forwards slowly this time and Loki still felt Fandral's gaze upon him. He wondered where Thor was and why he had not wanted to come visit him. He probably had not been allowed to and though he normally couldn't care less what was allowed and what wasn't, he surely had not wanted to make the trial harder than it already was going to be for Loki.

Thor was going to be the king and he could not possibly act any different than his father did. He was not as surprised that Odin had not visited him, of course. He was king and he was the judge in his trial. He could not visit him and risk getting emotionally involved in any shape or form and yet a part of him had wished his father - for once - would throw his stupid rules overboard and act on emotion. At least then Loki would have maybe not felt as alone as he did during the last day after his mother had not been allowed back into his room.

"I saw my grandson yesterday." His mother suddenly turned to him to get his attention and Loki was quick to understand that she tried to ease his fear a little bit. Loki had always tried not to show his fear in the presence of anyone, but now he had let his mask of superiority slip in front of Fandral and the guards. "He is beautiful." She continued. "And he looks just like you."

"He looks like his stupid father." Loki replied quietly and he tried to ignore the snort escaping Fandral, as the dashing knight was walking behind them. He could see Lady Sif and the rest of the warriors three at the end of the hallway, waiting to escort the small procession coming their way into the throne room. Loki immediately straightened his spine and tried to ease his face into the usually schooled expression of the prince he was known to be. He was Loki Odin- Laufeyson, after all. He was born to be a king and his pride was not broken. No matter the torture he had suffered and would suffer from now on, he would not let himself get broken any further. There had been times when he had nearly forgotten his own name. Oh, so many had tried to break him and make him think that he was no one, but until now not a single one of his tormentors had succeeded and Loki would keep it that way.

 


	9. Chapter 9

Loki never expected any kind of emotional reaction from really anyone for his homecoming. He had hoped that he would get to see a little bit of a reaction from his parents, hoped that his mother might even go as far as to forgive him for his crimes and the damage he had done. After all, everything had gone wrong just because he had been jealous of Thor - even though he would never openly admit to that. As he was led into the throne room, the giant hall was filled to the brim with onlookers and all of them desperately tried to get a glimpse of the traitor that was brought before them. Well, at least he finally got his crowd, Loki mused as he slowly followed the guards and the warriors three inside. The hall was at least as full it had been as Thor should have been crowned king a few years ago.

His mother had vanished from his side by now to take her position next to her husband as it was her duty. She was the queen now first and foremost and as such her place was beside the king whether she liked to be up there now or not. She would have to witness her son getting trialed and she could do nothing about the decision her husband might make in that regard.

He held his chin up high as he was led in front of his fathers and as he came to a stop in front of the throne, just at the end of the steps leading up to that very much cursed chair, he mockingly slammed his heels together. In here, in this very hall, in front of all those people that were watching him with hate in their eyes, he would make sure that they all would get to see the _old_ Loki they oh so very much hated. And yet, as he laughed his father in the face, he avoided looking at Thor who stood on his right hand side with a face unreadable even to Loki.

Did Thor already know what would happen to him perhaps?

"I really don’t get what all the fuss is about." He then stated before his father could even begin talking to him and he reveled in the moment as he heard the shocked gasps from the crowd. Well, if he would get sentenced to death or a life imprisoned, he might as well go out with a bang, he guessed.

"Do you not truly feel the gravity of your crimes?" His father stayed as calm as always and Loki could hardly say how much he hated this about Odin. He felt the look of his one eye drilling into his green ones and for a moment he wondered what his father expected him to do or say. Of course he felt the gravity of his crimes. And he was sure that Odin knew this. Did his father hope for Loki to apologize? Did he hope maybe that Loki would explain to the entire court how he had been forced to commit them? Or did he expect Loki to play his old role as the black sheep and that way make it easy for him to punish him? "Wherever you go there is war, ruin and death.”

"I went down to Midgard to rule the people of earth as their benevolent god." He stated as the hall fell eerily quiet again. "Just like you."

"We are not gods. We are born, we live, we die - just as humans do." His father shot back, but as always, Loki was unimpressed by these lies.

"Give or take five thousand years."

His father smiled as an answer to his words as he leaned back in his throne and stared him down. "All this because Loki desires a throne." He sounded like a father scolding a four year old boy who had broken his brother’s favorite toy.

"It is my birthright." He put all of the venom he could spare into his words as he stared at his father in anger. They never had the chance to talk about his true heritage after his father had fallen into the Odinsleep and he was not at all done with blaming his father, but finally the old man lost his calm as he leaned forward in his throne, his face all but a grimace of rage.

"YOUR BIRTHRIGHT WAS TO DIE!" His voice thundered through the hall and echoed from the columns and walls, but this time the crowd stayed silent and even Loki was surprised, though he was careful not to show it. Apparently, his father was about to reveal the big dark family secret now once and for all and for everyone who had not yet heard it. "As a child." He then continued quieter. "Cast out onto a frozen rock. If I wouldn’t have taken you in, you wouldn’t be here now to hate me."

He could not help but let another laugh escape his scarred lips and he did not even care as the guards pulled at his chains a little. Now everybody in here knew the true story of the second prince of Asgard and Loki just wanted to get it over with. "Oh, if I'm for the axe, then for mercy's sake just swing it." He hissed as he moved one step forwards towards his father and lowered his chin in a venomous stare, as if he had not spent the last year in a freezing dungeon, in pain and hoping his family would find him. Nothing could be worse than his punishment in Jotunheim had been. He did not belong here and his whole life everyone had made this unmistakably clear to him, but he did not belong to Jotunheim either. His very own father had cast him away to die in the middle of a war. "It's not that I don’t love our little talks, it's just … I don’t love them."

His father held his look for a long moment, before he smiled again and leaned back in his throne and only then Loki dared a small glance at Thor, but his brother was not looking his way as if he could not stand seeing him here and Loki found himself wondering if all of this sweet talk in the end had only been a play of his brother to get Loki to behave and come back home again. Thor was not the conniving kind, but as he had grown up with Loki at his side, the God of Mischief was sure that his behavior had rubbed off on Thor at least little enough for Thor to betray him now.

"For your crimes you would deserve death and Frigga is the only reason why you are still alive, Loki." His father then began again as Loki glanced at his mother. She seemed nervous. "I would have locked you up in the dungeons for the rest of your life never to see your mother or your son ever again to live the rest of your days alone." Loki clenched his jaw but he swallowed what he wanted to spit at his father. He could feel the old anger burning up inside of him, but somehow it seemed to lack venom and he wondered if this was because of the bracelets he still wore. Without his magic he was not entirely helpless. He could handle a sword and knives, but as of right now he was without weapon and his condition would not allow him to fight anyway. It was only a few weeks since he had given birth and nearly died from his wounds (and/or childbirth). That he had collapsed after using the Bifröst only had made it clear to him that he was in no condition to risk anything at all.

"Wouldn’t be the first time I was left alone to rot." Loki snarled bitterly and for once he saw at least the hint of a reaction in the one eye of his father. Maybe he even saw regret, but he could not be too sure.

"To your luck, however, I have received new information about what has led to your crimes on Midgard and I am aware that it was not entirely your doing alone. The same cannot be claimed for the crimes you committed against this realm, however." He paused for a moment and looked around the hall, before he glanced at Loki again. "I am aware that you have been forced to invade Midgard and I am also aware that you spend one year in the dungeons of Jotunheim already for your crimes. You will not get back your magic and you will not be allowed to leave Asgard without permission and in company by either Thor or the warriors three until you have showed your willingness to better yourself. I will spare you from the dungeons in light of the punishment you have already received from the Jotun, but if anything happens that could lead me to believe that you are not willing to better yourself, you _will_ end up in the dungeons for the rest of your days." Again Loki did not know what to say or how to react. Was his father showing mercy to him for once? Was he really letting him off the hook like this? Well, then again, the magic was a part of him. Not having it felt as though he was not complete and he was sure that his father knew how great a punishment it really was for Loki to not have his magic. "Take off his chains."

The guards acted immediately, but the crowd did not seem to be too happy as they released Loki again. They were whispering and murmuring, shouting curses at the raven haired god, but they all seemed to slowly leave now that the show was over and so did the warriors three and most of the guards. Suddenly, Loki felt oddly naked as he stood here without his chains but also without his old powers too. He thought about Algrim once again and how the elf had been corrupted by his own magic all those years ago. He thought about the hate he had felt seeping from this man and right into his own heart like the most deadly disease.

Even though he was released from his chains, Loki could hardly believe his new freedom. Even as his mother pulled him into a tight hug as they were alone, even as Thor was at his side again to lead him to their son, he could still not believe how things had turned out and that he in fact for once was lucky enough not to be punished. And yet having his magic stripped from him was probably one of the worst punishments he could have received. He was nothing more than a captive in a gilded cage now and everyone who would want to lay  finger on him when he was alone, would be free to do so.

It was already past midnight, as Loki found himself inside the throne room yet again. After his trial he had not had the chance to gather his thoughts and just be alone a bit. Thor had hardly vanished from his side and if it wasn’t him who was with Loki, it had been their mother. He felt a bit odd walking through the palace like he had done his entire life now. He felt more like an intruder as anytime before and he grew more and more aware of the way the guards would stare at him in silent anger. Apparently, no one could truly understand that his father had decided to show mercy to his youngest son. And apparently now that they all knew who he really was, they were all the more secure in their distrust of him.

If it hadn't been for Magni starting to cry in his little crib, Loki would probably have stayed with Thor and would not have dared to leave the room by himself. And yet he was glad that for once he was alone for a moment to think about everything. The soft breeze coming through the large windows of the throne room was most welcome after Thor's heat he had to endure the entire night and his son seemed to like it as well as he looked outside with his big green eyes.

"You are still my son, Loki." The voice of his father almost startled him, but he wouldn’t be Loki, the _God of Mischief_ , if he would not have expected something like this to happen. "Even after everything that has happened."

For such an old man, his father could be quite silent, at least that Loki had to give him, but at first, he did not even turn around to face him. Instead, his eyes kept resting upon the golden city. There had been times when he had hated this very city and even now he did not know how to feel about it. He would much rather live somewhere else. Hell, he would even choose Midgard over Asgard at the moment. Knowing that he was the most hated person in the entire realm did not exactly made him feel comfortable to stay here. And what about his son? How would they treat him? How would they react when they would learn that Magni was Thor's son as well? By now everyone seemed to think, that Loki was Magni’s father and not - well, his mother. How would they react? Already most of the commoners were disgusted with him and even more so now that they were aware of his true heritage. "Yes" He finally hissed. "and you always made sure I would feel like this too, didn’t you? And because you love me so much, you made sure that the entire court now knows who I really am and that they finally feel justified in their mistreatment of me. Today you made sure that they all finally see the monster I really am. I'm sure you yearned to do so all those years."

"Well" His father sighed. "If the court would still think that you are indeed my own flesh and blood, then how do you suppose would you have been able to marry Thor?"

First, Loki was sure that he had misheard the old man, but as he whirled around to stare at him, his father indeed had a smile on his face. Magni, however, squirmed a little in Loki's arms and he instinctively pulled the boy closer. "What?" He groaned, while his mind was already racing and his eyes darting over his father's expression, searching for a clue that would tell him what game the old man was really planning. Of course, he did not trust him. He was looking for something that would give away his father's true intentions, but he could not find anything. What game was this man playing?

"This is another condition for your freedom, Loki." Odin explained and walked towards the throne, but instead of climbing the steps, he slowly lowered himself to sit down on the stone steps leading to the throne. "When I first brought you home from Jotunheim, it was my desire to make peace with the Jotun through you, as I said when you confronted me about your true heritage, and what better way to achieve that than through marriage? When I first saw you lying in the snow on that frozen rock, I knew that you were something special. You had Laufey's markings, truly, but as I touched you, your skin immediately turned pink as if you knew even then that you had to adapt to survive. You were only a few hours old, Loki, but already you had such a strong will to live and you were tiny for a frost giant. I knew you would die if I would leave you there and though a part of me felt that I did not have the right to take you, I desperately wanted to see what could become of you. I was sure you would bring peace to our realms. But I strayed from the plan of having you marry Thor soon as I watched you grow up. I couldn’t bring myself to destroy the bond you and Thor had as brothers and I started to forget about it entirely, hoping that you would never find out about your true heritage. Of course, I should have known that your stupid brother would drag you along to some stupid adventure and have it all ruined."

Loki snorted quietly but he stepped closer towards his father. He had always enjoyed talking to his father in the past. He had learned a lot from him, though a lot more from his mother. While Thor had been out brawling with his friends, he had been here, watching his father and learning how to be a good leader.

"Well, good for you then that we _strayed_ from that bond, right?" Loki hissed as he bit down on the words that were lying on his tongue. Oh, he had gone through so much inner turmoil exactly because of their forbidden relationship. He had been disgusted by his own desires to be with his brother and he had been terribly ashamed. All this had not needed to be if his father had just said how it really was.

"Even if you hadn't, I would have hoped that you would stay at your brother's side." Odin finally confessed. "Your brother is brash and hotheaded. He had always been like this, but he has changed after his exile and that is also thanks to you, Loki. You were the only person who has seen that Thor was not fit to rule back then and you did something to prohibit him from being crowned king too soon. I still don’t endorse what you have done, but I can see the motivation behind it now, even though there might have been jealousy involved to a great deal."

"I always knew that I would never be king, even though I always knew that I was born to be king." Loki growled. He didn’t want to talk about all of this with his father. Too much was still left unsaid until now and maybe it was better this way too.

"You will be king, someday." Odin admitted as he looked at Loki again. "I was cruel to you in the past. I have mistreated you, as the entire realm has mistreated you. Instead of punishing you, I should have gone after the men who have hurt you in the past, but the truth was that I was angry with myself. I have managed to forget your true heritage, I have managed to forget my original plans and because of this you got hurt and more than once we nearly lost you because of this. I was perfectly contempt having my two sons and not having to think how I should tell you the truth, but as you became pregnant for the first time, the bubble burst. You were terrified and you blamed your magic for this and I didn’t know how to tell you the truth. And with each loss you suffered it became harder and harder for me."

"I am sorry that you had such a hard time." He spat as he brushed his fingers through Magni's blonde curls. "And what was your plan exactly? Would you have me locked in my entire life instead? This wouldn’t have changed something about my hatred for you."

"Loki, I cannot change anything that had already happened. I only can hope for a brighter future and I still firmly believe that you will help achieving this future.

"But what if it's not my desire to help achieving this peaceful future you wish for, _father_? I must say I liked the chaos I brought over these mortals." He then countered baring his teeth, but his father did not even lost his calm at this. Probably because there was no fire in Loki's words. The truth was that he was tired of the chaos. He had more than enough of it for now.

"You will get your beloved chaos when we will turn against Jotunheim once again."

"You are planning on bringing war to Jotunheim, _again_."

"I am. There is a Usurper on the throne of Jotunheim, one that had the real king imprisoned and tortured for a year. As soon as you and Thor have married, you will bring back the casket and prosperity to your home. The Jotun will follow you rather than any other king they might have when you bring them the casket."

"I don’t wish to bring prosperity to these creatures. I tried once to destroy Jotunheim, don’t forget that and I still much rather would have it destroyed than helping them. But when you are sending out your men to fight these monsters, make sure they will bring me their king's head."

※※※※※

There were a few things Tony Stark really regretted having ever said or done in his life. For starters, there was the manufacturing of weapons and shipping them off into the war torn Middle East, before he had been kidnapped and subsequently turned into the persona of Iron Man. But the thing he regretted the most was probably inviting his _friends_ to come visit him in the tower whenever they wanted. A few of them lived in this very tower by now, but two of them … Well, he should never have made the mistake of inviting the God of Mischief.

"What the hell is that?" Tony erupted after he had taken a sip from his coffee, the first thing he would do in the morning to even slightly get a grip on his life. "What the- is this _decaf_?"

It didn’t take long until he heard that very snickering that was already haunting his dreams coming from the living room and as Tony followed the sound he found Loki lounging on the couch as if he owned the place. He wasn’t even surprised to see him here, but if Loki was here, surely Thor, the poor husband of this creature, wasn’t far too. Apparently the two northern gods had taken his invitation quite literally. "Did you decaf my coffee?"

"I decafed the entire bag." Loki laughed but before Tony could lunge at him, Loki grinned even wider and just put his left hand on his rather prominent belly as he always did when he wanted to escape punishment. Reminding people that he was pregnant was his new favorite method of getting away with his petty little crimes.

"I swear to god, I will not allow you in the next time you come visit.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOKI'D

The night hung low over Manhattan. Beneath the Stark Tower buildings were glistening like an ocean of stars and the sounds from the street up here only were like the waves of the ocean hitting the shore. Thor would have never thought he would find so much peace in this scenery, but he did, and all the more as he turned away from the window to have a look at the bed. His good friend Tony had feared no expense for them, as it seemed. He said they were visiting so often that there was no point in not giving them their own room and Thor was grateful for his friend's hospitality. He knew that this was not common on this realm.

He liked Midgard a lot, not only for the friends he had found here but because Loki was at ease when they would visit this realm. By now the people of earth seemed to have forgotten about Loki and his grand scheme a few years back and so his brother was even able to walk the streets on his hunt for sweets with Natasha or Steve.

"Tony said you have decafed all his coffee. I don't know what that means, but the way he has told me about it led me to believe that it was a crime against humanity." Thor then found his voice again as his eyes rested upon his husband on the bed. Loki was lying on his side with a book in his hands and his long hair flowing beautifully like silk over the mattress. It was moments like this when Thor would just watch his paramour in awe, till surprised that Loki had indeed chosen him above everyone he could have had. He was magnificently beautiful, even as highly pregnant as he was now. Loki would beg to differ, but Thor did not want to hear any of it when Loki began to ramble that he would look like a cow.

"So, do you have anything to say in your defense?" Thor grinned and slowly stepped closer towards the bed. "Or do I have to take you to court for this crime you committed?"

"You want to punish me for a crime, but you don't even know what this crime is? Weak, Thor, weak." He laughed a little as he saw the mischievous little grin pulling on Loki's lips before he crawled onto the bed and rip the book from his hands. "Now I lost my page, thank you. That was rude."

Thor, however, did not waste another second to pull his betrothed into his arms and stole a kiss from his lips. It was still odd to him, this whole scenario. Loki in his bed, in his arms, pregnant with his second child, as if all of this was just a fairy tale. But if it was, he never wanted it to end or for someone to hurl him back into a cold reality without his beloved. "These Midgardian clothes, they suit you." He complimented Loki with a faint little grin as he gently shoved up the dark green T-Shirt Loki was wearing over his short sleeping pants. It was summer in Midgard and just as it was in Asgard, Loki was not a big fan of the heat. Down here in Midgard it seemed more bearable for him, though.

"You don't need to flatter me anymore, Thor. I already married you, you know?"

"Are you implying that I am an oaf usually?"

"Yes indeed." Loki laughed before he stretched his neck and as Thor waited for another kiss, his conniving husband only bit his nose.

"This calls for revenge." He laughed before he threw Loki (as gently as possible) on his back and loomed over him as to devour his always misbehaving husband.

"I'm trembling in fear." Loki huffed as Thor leaned over him so close that he could feel Loki's cold breath on his face. By now Loki did not even complain about his beard anymore - or not more than he had always done.

"You better be. I can be pretty cruel, you know?" But before one of them could even think about doing anything inappropriate, Thor heard how the door to their room was opened and it took not long before the surprised sound of a choking Steve Rogers sounded from behind him.

"Oh, god! I am so sorry!" The good Captain immediately squeaked and as Thor rolled off of Loki again to look towards the door he saw how Steve politely looked at the ceiling instead of all out staring at the two northern gods. Steve sometimes reacted odd like this, but Thor didn't blame him. "You didn't react to my knock, you see." Steve explained and as he grew aware that neither Loki nor Thor was naked, he looked at them again. Thor had not even heard a knock on the door and if Loki had - well his brother was the god of mischief and he liked to get people in uncomfortable situations. "Anyway" Steve coughed. "I just, found this little man roaming the hallways and thought he wanted to come visit his parents perhaps."

Magni still clung to Steve's left leg with one hand; in the other hand, he held his teddy bear in a tight grip. Thor would never understand the Midgardian custom to give their kids stuffed animals, but Magni got his from Steve when he had been a baby and he would not give it up.

"Is that so?" Loki huffed as he sat up and opened his arms for his little boy to come to him and Magni, as always, was glad to do exactly that.

He was almost four years old and he grew fast. Thor was sure that he would become a great warrior in no time, even though Magni was still very much afraid of the monsters under his bed, as was his right as a child, as Loki liked to remind him.

In no time, Magni had climbed up to them in bed and immediately threw himself into Loki's arms, which sometimes left Thor jealous, but then again, he was the one who would run around with their son on the shoulders in central park - even though Nick Fury urged him not to do that because of the media. Steve left the little family with a smirk on his face before Thor wrapped his own arms around the other two and pulled them closer.

Of course, it did only take a second for Loki to complain. "You are unbearably warm."

 


End file.
